The girl reading this right now is beautiful. She may be beautiful and confident, or she may be beautiful and insecure. I know it may sound ironic, when a person knows they're good looking but still sees a flaw in them in some way. But the sad reality is that almost everyone has at least one thing about themselves they wish they could change, no matter how many compliments they get. Society makes us become rarely satisfied with ourselves, always worried we'll be judged on the smallest of things that no one sees wrong with.
You're either insecure, confident, or conceited. Sometimes you're all three, it just depends on your mood.
Up until now, I'm not sure which category I'd put myself in. I'm definitely too humble to be conceited, and that's not a way I'd want to live life, thinking I look better than everyone else. Beauty comes in all forms and I appreciate them. So that just leaves confident and insecure. I feel both of these as if they were moods.
One day I could be feeling myself, my hair voluminous, shiny, bouncing after every step I take, wearing a cute outfit with cute shoes to match, and having my makeup done really well. Then there are my not-so-perfect days when my hair looks kinda flat and feels gross since I haven't washed it in three days, I can't find a good outfit or I'm wearing loose, comfy, baggy sweats, and I present the dark eye circles on my natural face, letting the world know I'm tired of school and life itself.
Don't get me wrong though, just because a girl is dressed down and comfortably doesn't mean she looks bad. You're obviously still beautiful and can still be confident when you're not dressed up. In my case, if I don't feel good, then I assume I don't look good, which may be where the insecurity, rather than confidence, plays in.
This is common in a lot of girls. You'll hear the phrase, "No, don't, I look like trash right now!" when their friends take a video of them for their story. Her friends don't think that, though. She looks absolutely fine, pretty even. But in other cases, the appearances are deeper than outfits, makeup, and hair itself. Sometimes it has to do with society's expectation of beauty. The endless standards that are more often than not unrealistic — full lips, long eyelashes, clear skin, thick eyebrows, petite and defined nose, strong jawline, curves, small waist, wide hips, thick thighs, flat stomach, the list goes on forever. Holding women up to these specific standards can definitely have a beautiful girl feel less confident in herself.
Media makes you believe you need to look a certain way to be seen as drop dead gorgeous when you already hold your own unique beauty. Having a South Asian nose instead of a Eurocentric nose does not mean you're ugly. Having smaller lips rather than full ones does not mean you're ugly. And not being the curviest girl in the room shouldn't make you feel like you're not attractive, either.
Though I advocate for rising above insecurities and finding happiness within your own beauty, I do believe insecurities are a normal thing and a lot of people have them. As humans, we're imperfect beings who tend to strive for perfect or near perfect. We'll tend to want the things we don't have and take the things that should be valued for granted. If you are insecure, just know you're not alone. Sometimes we can't help but feel the way we do about certain things about ourselves. But I promise you, someone thinks you're beautiful and is attracted to you for exactly how you look like, even if you think you're flawed.
Humayun's Tomb (New Delhi) | Humayun's tomb is a complex of … | Flickr
