Be As You Wish to Seem

Be As You Wish to Seem

My VSCO Cam is cooler than my life actually is.

The other day, I made a VSCO Cam. I sorted through my camera roll, desperately searching for the most aesthetically pleasing pictures I could find that would look great with a filter and a cool caption.

I think I changed my Instagram bio about fourteen times until I was sure it proved I was Christian yet really hip at the same time.

Oh yeah, and I had a really good quiet time at a local coffee shop the other day. I made sure I put it on my Instagram... and my Snapchat story... and I made a Facebook post about it.

You see, I try so hard to prove to the world that I am, indeed, a hip Christian. I work so hard at making sure every aspect of my life on social media is aesthetically pleasing. I refuse to post a picture if I don't look good in it, my handwriting in my journal isn't perfect, or my coffee isn't the right shade of tan. And as I reflect on the past few months I've spent working so hard to make sure I portrayed myself the right way, I realize how insanely ignorant I am.

I go to class with no makeup on, a big tshirt, and my hair looking like a rats nest. I usually drink my coffee out of a styrofoam cup instead of a coffee mug from Anthropologie. My nails aren't always painted, I don't spend time with the Lord every day, and sometimes, I listen to Taylor Swift instead of Judah and the Lion. And you know what? That's real life.

My Instagram isn't real life. My VSCO Cam isn't real life. The hours and hours I've spent making sure I portray myself in the perfect light are honestly a waste of time. Because in real life, I'm a messy, broken girl. I don't have it all together. And although I want to seem as though I'm your ideal, artsy Christian college girl, I'm not.

So what? What's so wrong with writing pretty verses in my journaling Bible? What's the problem with "Instagramming" pretty pictures with beautiful captions?

The other day, I read an article that had the quote "Be as you wish to seem" in it. And as I sit and think about it, I know how I "wish to seem." I wish I always had my hair in a cute middle part, choker fastened around my neck, donning my Free People shirt and New Balances. I wish I spent time with the Lord every day and that my actions always flowed from that. I wish I overflowed kindness and compassion and love and grace to all of my friends because of how the Lord feels about me. I wish I didn't have to prove how much I love my friends by writing a sweet caption about them or putting them on my Snapchat story.

But I think the key thing about that quote is that it calls us to "Be." We actually have to be the way we want people to see us. And being isn't based off of how clean our hair is or how pretty our handwriting is. Being is based off of how we love. It's based off of where our hearts are.

The literal definition of "be" is "to exist." So, my question to you is this: how are you existing? How are you living on a daily basis? For me, my Instagram and my real life are on two opposite poles. My heart isn't in tuned with the Father's, though my last Facebook post says it is. My challenge to you is to see where in your life you need change and to go after it. Chase after a life full of love, grace and compassion, don't just portray yourself as a person who does. Because I promise, authenticity is admired, respected, and appreciated.

No, this doesn't mean you can't have a sick Instagram. And no, this doesn't mean you need to just post ugly selfies on your VSCO. But don't live a fake life through your social media. I promise, the lifestyle you're desiring is so sweet, but you won't experience that sweetness until you actually strive for it.

Cover Image Credit: me

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.

Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.

Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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I Bought My First 'Big Girl' Purse And, Damn, I Feel Like A Badass

If you see me around with my Kate Spade purse feeling like a badass, mind ya business.


To say that I am a big believer in the phrase, "treat yo self" is a complete understatement and anyone who knows me knows just how serious I encourage it to everyone.

Over spring break, I decided to take some of my advice and made two big investments.

The first one was my Canon DSLR. But we all knew that one was coming because I had been saving up my paychecks for months since last year and was ready to invest in something that would ultimately help me perfect a skill I had been wanting to learn for a while.

The other investment was a Kate Spade purse that even caught me off guard because I didn't exactly expect myself to want a purse. But you know that feeling of not knowing you needed something until you saw it? Well, that was me and from the moment I saw it, I knew there was no going back. So, I went into the store and dropped the money on the purse and just didn't look back at the impulsive decision I had just made, which was actually going against my New Year's resolution of being smarter with my money.

But you know what, treat yo self.

And if you expected me to feel bad about my purse, surprise! I don't feel bad one bit.

When I tell you I feel good about my purse and about myself with my purse, I am being so freaking honest. Now, I can't even picture myself without my purse. It might sound stupid, but it actually makes every outfit look better and makes me feel like a bad bitch.

Like the Carrie Bradshaw, the "Sex and the City" fashion queen, once said, "Balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it."

So, if you see me around with my Kate Spade purse feeling like a badass, mind ya business.

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