THIS IS A PSA

I cannot count the number of times that I have opted to hold in my number one due to dreading possible bathroom conditions. I have literally chosen to go through an entire school day without using the bathroom because of what I know will be lurking in there... the stench.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "That's a little insensitive, isn't it?" NO. It isn't. In fact, I believe I am not the only victim of the stench. We have all experienced it, women and men alike, and it doesn't discriminate. It doesn't care what race or ethnicity you are, which is pretty admirable if you compare it to non-gaseous entities(i.e. - human beings). What it does do, however, is destroy everything you've ever loved.

It will sneak its way into the very depths of your nostrils and lodge itself so far up into your nasal cavity that the only plausible option would be to rip your nose off. Although, I'm sure most of us will settle for simple holding his/her breath until you finally open your mouth - yes your mouth because god forbid you inhale through your nose - and suck in that much-needed oxygen. I will tell you from personal experience that I have held my breath until my eyes watered to avoid inhaling. It is not pretty, people.

I know the first thing to combat this, the most logical thing, would be to casually spray some sort of delicious smelling perfume or body spray into the air - DO NOT DO THIS. This will not solve the problem, it will only make it worse. Why, you ask? Well, say I sprayed something beautiful and floral into the air - the stench would then smell more like flowers with a hint of stale salami and a fragrant musk of... tuna fish. Mmm, right? No. Wrong.

Please, people, just get in and get out. Don't stop to smell the hypothetical roses because there are none. Just toilets.

*This was not meant to offend - just to entertain... I'm sure we've all been there*