There is an age-old stigma about the Ladies Room. The air of mystery about what secret world lies behind those bathroom doors seemingly baffles the minds of those who have yet to step inside.
We hear the cliche questions all the time like why does it smell so much better than the men's room? How come you guys have a candy machine?
And the classic, "Why do girls, when they gotta go, always go in packs?" The girl's bathroom is undoubtedly an enigma, and yet for me and so many other women, it has become a tiled sanctuary.
I was an early bloomer. Like, my mom teaching me how to use a tampon 2 months after turning 11 kind of early. The bathroom during this transitional time was a very isolating place. Hiding a pad under my armpit, I would sneak into the bathroom during fifth-grade homeroom, peeling off the plastic orange wrapper as quietly as I could so no one could hear. In these moments, in my personal tin-walled confession booth, I didn’t have to hide the fact that I was a woman.
Slowly, I began recognizing the familiar sound of tampons being carefully unwrapped and my friends whispering in my ear, asking me to come to the bathroom with them and to bring my backpack with me. The Ladies Room dynamic changed. It became the watering hole for us, a private club with the entry password being “Does anyone have a…?”
And for the girls who had yet to get their periods, and those women without ovaries, it was the space we’d come together to share our secrets. We quickly learned it was the only place we could cry in public without seeming “too emotional.” It was the only place we didn’t feel the need to say “menstruation” in a whispered tone. It was, and still sometimes feels like, the only place we can be unapologetically female.
Some things don’t change when you get to college. Some spaces will always remain sacred. As freshman year began and students herded into classrooms I didn’t know how to get to, I found solace once again in the bathroom stalls. Stepping into one minutes before my first exam in December, I noticed the words written on the wall reading, “This place can be lonely, but you’re not alone.”
Finishing up a semester where I’d never felt more alone, these words struck me as exactly what I needed to see and made me realize the importance of the ladies room. In a place considered to be extremely private, the bathroom became a shelter against feeling so alone.
So to answer those long examined questions the girl's bathroom actually doesn’t always smell so nice — girls poop, get over it. We have candy machines because candy helps with the cramps. And we go in packs because our parents taught us to. But more importantly, because by going together we get to be ourselves, express ourselves, and feel that whatever we’re going through, we are not alone.
All photos taken in women's bathroom stalls.
