Recommended for you

Start writing a post

Entertainment

the 20 best Headlines from Barstool news network

We all love Barstool Sports but for a real laugh, you have to check this sh** out.

Maggie Eckberg

Aug 02, 2018

University of Wisconsin, Madison

221

the 20 best Headlines from Barstool news network

Instagram

Barstool Sports has become a staple of the Instagram world (well, at least my Instagram world) and you can consistently rely on it to deliver videos of frat guys doing stupid shit, fights breaking out at bars or on rare occasions some actual sports-related activities. However, it wasn't until later that I was introduced to Barstool News: a subdivision of Barstool Sports that only posts the most outrageous headlines from around the country. Before you ask, no, I do not have any ties to Barstool or work for their PR department (although that would be fucking amazing), I am just giving them some well-deserved praise and attention, so enjoy.

1. Man With No Arms Charged With Stabbing Chicago Tourist

Stranger things have happened in Chi-Town.

2. Sick Man Who Had Sex With A Horse Claimed Animal Gave Consent By Winking At Him

This is animal abuse, correct?

3. Pig In Australia Steals 18 Beers From Campers, Gets Drunk And Fights Cow

That just sounds like another day at UW-Madison.

4. Ohio Man Sentenced After Attempting To Seduce Undercover Officer With Chicken Alfredo

Honestly, that's totally something I would do.

5. Family Says Logan County Hospital Gave Them The Wrong Baby For 2 Hours

Do babies really look that different from one another? No.

6. Phoenix Area Woman Accused Of Stalking And Sending 65,000 Texts To A Man She Went On One Date With

Sorry, I'm just having trouble seeing the problem here.

7. Sexuality Expert Says, "Parents Should Seek Consent Before Changing Baby's Diaper"

The millennials have gone too far.

8. Police Department Writes "Po Po" On Squad Car To Relate With Young Residents

Sounds like a clever marketing strategy to me.

9. Highly Intoxicated Man Hit Girlfriend With Pizza

I don't support domestic abuse, and I most definitely don't support pizza abuse.

10. Missouri Man Breaks Into Multiple Women's Homes To Tell Them He "Respects Them" In Celebration Of International Women's Day

Why thank you, kind sir.

11. Chuck E. Cheese Brawl Ends With 2 Hurt, 2 Arrests

I just really want to know how this started.

12. Angry Cow Gets The Hump And Beats Up Woman After She Sang Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps" To It

Not a smart idea, miss.

13. Two Arrested In Chainsaw Fight In Akron

The real question is: do they use them like swords or just throw them at one another? The world may never know.

14. Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte Told Citizens Last Week To Forgo Condoms During Intercourse Because "They Don't Feel Good"

The hero that the Philippines deserves, but not the one it needs.

15. Health Professionals Report Cases Where People Put Sunscreen On Their Eyeballs To Watch Eclipse

Works in theory, but not in reality.

16. Stormy Daniels Claimed That Trump Asked Her To Spank Him With A Forbes Magazine That Had Him On The Cover And Made Her Watch Hours Of Shark Week

I'm not even surprised in the slightest.

17. Putin: "I Am Not A Woman, So I Don't Have Bad Days"

Excuse you, sir.

18. Ben Carson Calls Poverty "A State Of Mind"

I honestly am concerned for anyone who lets him perform their brain surgery.

19. China May Be Using The Sea To Hide Its Submarines

I'm pretty sure that's the only way to hide them.

20. Fed Up With Mortal Men, Women Are Having Sex With Ghosts

They're just so hard to find.

Go follow @barstoolnewsnet for more insane humor!

Report this Content

This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Entertainment

25 Beatles Lyrics: Your Go-To Guide for Every Situation

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

SUNY Binghamton

36115

Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less

best beatles lyrics

Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Smith College

99403

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

waitlisted

Recommended for you

the 20 best Headlines from Barstool news network

We all love Barstool Sports but for a real laugh, you have to check this sh** out.

1. Man With No Arms Charged With Stabbing Chicago Tourist

2. Sick Man Who Had Sex With A Horse Claimed Animal Gave Consent By Winking At Him

3. Pig In Australia Steals 18 Beers From Campers, Gets Drunk And Fights Cow

4. Ohio Man Sentenced After Attempting To Seduce Undercover Officer With Chicken Alfredo

5. Family Says Logan County Hospital Gave Them The Wrong Baby For 2 Hours

6. Phoenix Area Woman Accused Of Stalking And Sending 65,000 Texts To A Man She Went On One Date With

7. Sexuality Expert Says, "Parents Should Seek Consent Before Changing Baby's Diaper"

8. Police Department Writes "Po Po" On Squad Car To Relate With Young Residents

9. Highly Intoxicated Man Hit Girlfriend With Pizza

10. Missouri Man Breaks Into Multiple Women's Homes To Tell Them He "Respects Them" In Celebration Of International Women's Day

11. Chuck E. Cheese Brawl Ends With 2 Hurt, 2 Arrests

12. Angry Cow Gets The Hump And Beats Up Woman After She Sang Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps" To It

13. Two Arrested In Chainsaw Fight In Akron

14. Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte Told Citizens Last Week To Forgo Condoms During Intercourse Because "They Don't Feel Good"

15. Health Professionals Report Cases Where People Put Sunscreen On Their Eyeballs To Watch Eclipse

16. Stormy Daniels Claimed That Trump Asked Her To Spank Him With A Forbes Magazine That Had Him On The Cover And Made Her Watch Hours Of Shark Week

17. Putin: "I Am Not A Woman, So I Don't Have Bad Days"

18. Ben Carson Calls Poverty "A State Of Mind"

19. China May Be Using The Sea To Hide Its Submarines

20. Fed Up With Mortal Men, Women Are Having Sex With Ghosts

Subscribe to our Newsletter

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

Trending Topics

Subscribe to our
Newsletter