Rock Masterpiece: The YouTube Comments on Heart's "Barracuda"

Rock Masterpiece: The YouTube Comments on Heart's "Barracuda"

Timeless wisdom and did they really need to tell us these personal details
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Following Bob Dylan's groundbreaking win of the 2016 Nobel Prize in literature, I truly believe it's time to nominate another one of rock's great masterpieces by one of the genre's best groups. And no, I don't mean the song "Barracuda" and the band Heart. I mean the comment section on the YouTube video of "Barracuda" and the myriad fans of Heart who contributed their heartfelt prose to the conversation, creating a lush magnum opus of collective creativity. Here's some of the finest.

1. Lost hopes

"AT 9 I didn't know much about sex, but I think I knew Ann Wilson had something to do with it. I could have built a family with her. Just saying." - Todd Randall, 8 likes

Here Todd reflects upon his youthful infatuation with the world-famous singer Ann Wilson and regrets throwing away his very real chance at wooing, marrying, and growing old with her.

2. Confusion

"When I Was A Little Kid I Had The Hots For Ann And Nancy Wilson ANd Stevie Nik=cks Too" - Roderick Atkinsson

This modernist experimental comment contains unorthodox capitalization of every word and a heretofore unknown spelling of "Stevie Nicks." Much like James Joyce, Roderick uses form to express the disjointed, primordial estate of his ego as his sexual development moves between the latent and genital phases.

3. The price of our dreams

"I wish if i was born in the 70s ,everything back then seems great" - Julia Gwen, 160 likes

"@Julia Gwen stds" - Im Just Me, 0 likes

Im Just Me points out that there is a dark side to every reality, possibly referencing the Free Love movement of the nineteen seventies.

4. A bold challenge to an entire generation

"we need more female rockers, but theyre too busy with makeup and not having a personality, and the guys are even worse, theyre getting as pretty as the girls now." -Brenton Hobson, 6 likes

Plot twist BOWIE NEVER HAPPENED!!!

5. A bold challenge to monogamy

"Ann Wilson fucking rocks I can't deny that at all! But don't forget about Stevie Nicks! She's badass too! =P" - Alvin Akbar

"Alvin Akbar You're telling me about her? LOL When I was a teenager, I had posters of her all over my walls and even the ceiling in my room. My girl friends used to get mad because while having sex with them I'd be looking at the posters of her and dream that it was her. I can't count the number times I got smacked for that! :-)" - Tim Rubin Halcomb


In a strikingly perverse turn, Tim Halcomb opts to put a nose in his smiley emoticon.

6. Ron ruins dreams

"I remember back when I had my Trans Am this song always made me wanna drive a little faster ;)" - Tammy B, 317 likes

"LOL Funny you mention this!!! In 1979, i knew a VERY good looking girl in High School out in Quartz Hill CA that had a new, black Trans Am with Gold decals, T-Top and all, she took me for a ride, while we jammed Cars, Heart, and Cheap Trick!!!! Alas, we were only friends, she was WAY out of my league, too good for me, but soooooo freaking nice! :)" - Mike Tayon, 13 likes

"Awww....that's a great memory! But you shouldn't ever assume she's out of your league...you never know!" - Tammy B, in response to Mike Tayon, 15 likes

"She is out of his league." - Ron I, 2 likes

Ron, in short, ruins people's dreams of Trans-Ams and female genitalia.

7. Kevin becomes a man

"Saw them in Lethbridge, Alberta, 1979/80 and man...I was 15, drove my gf there with her daddy's car.......daddy gave me the keys and he said , "Don't kill my daughter" and dropped them in my hand......I was a suburban boy from Saskatoon and my hay bale skills in a car were bad at best....we survived the concert and then went out to the farm that HEART had supplied plenty of cold drinks........I went from 15 to man that night. God what I would give to do that all over again" - Kevin Larson, 137 likes

That night, Kevin lost his virginity and also his ability to end a sentence with a full stop.

"Larson Despite the backward laws that say 15 is still a "child", it's naturally not. Biologically, we're adults at 15 -> puberty -> reproduction -> adulthood" - Liberty and Justice, 2 likes

I should probably reiterate that all YouTube comments are completely non-compulsory and every one of them is freely made public by each user.


"Kevin Larson did you fuck her or something i dont get what you did still i am very confused." - Brandon Conn, 1 like

"If you are 15/16 and getting into a girl's pants you just make damn sure you are 17" - Kevin Larson, in reply, 0 likes.

Here Kevin demonstrates that a successful sexual encounter involves being OLDER than one actually is, sustaining two realities at the same time, and making one supplant the other by sheer force of will.

8. The steady toll of age

"Check google pictures and you'll see different looks of her. See isn't sexy anymore, sorry my friend !!!" - Danny Kaspers, 2 likes

"Danny Kaspers u wont be sexy 40 yrs from now either." - Al Jones, 4 likes

Mortality visits this Heart thread like a dark bird, or a shadow. Or is it, perhaps, the eponymous Barracuda of the song?

9. Crescendo

"Does anyone remember this song being in Shrek 3?" - Isaac Moring, 12 likes



Cover Image Credit: Keyword Gallery

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A Letter To My Go-To Aunt

Happiness is having the best aunt in the world.
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I know I don't say it enough, so let me start off by saying thank you.

You'll never understand how incredibly blessed I am to have you in my life. You'll also never understand how special you are to me and how much I love you.

I can't thank you enough for countless days and nights at your house venting, and never being too busy when I need you. Thank you for the shopping days and always helping me find the best deals on the cutest clothes. For all the appointments I didn't want to go to by myself. Thank you for making two prom days and a graduation party days I could never forget. Thank you for being overprotective when it comes to the men in my life.

Most importantly, thank you for being my support system throughout the numerous highs and lows my life has brought me. Thank you for being honest even when it isn't what I want to hear. Thank you for always keeping my feet on the ground and keeping me sane when I feel like freaking out. Thank you for always supporting whatever dream I choose to chase that day. Thank you for being a second mom. Thank you for bringing me into your family and treating me like one of your own, for making me feel special because you do not have an obligation to spend time with me.

You've been my hero and role model from the time you came into my life. You don't know how to say no when family comes to you for help. You're understanding, kind, fun, full of life and you have the biggest heart. However, you're honest and strong and sometimes a little intimidating. No matter what will always have a special place in my heart.

There is no possible way to ever thank you for every thing you have done for me and will continue to do for me. Thank you for being you.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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15 Thing Only Early 2000's Kids Will Understand

"Get connected for free, with education connection"

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This is it early 2000's babies, a compilation finally made for you. This list is loaded with things that will make you swoon with nostalgia.

1. Not being accepted by the late 90's kids.

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Contrary to what one may think, late 90's and early 00's kids had the same childhood, but whenever a 00's kid says they remember something on an "only 90's kids will understand" post they are ridiculed.

2. Fortune tellers.

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Every day in elementary school you would whip one of these bad boys out of your desk, and proceed to tell all of your classmates what lifestyle they were going to live and who they were going to marry.

3.Bunnicula

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You could never read this book past 8 o'clock at night out of fear that your beloved pet rabbit would come after you.

4. Silly bands.

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You vividly remember begging your parents to buy you $10 worth of cheap rubber bands that vaguely resembles the shape of an everyday object.

5. Parachutes.

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The joy and excitement that washed over you whenever you saw the gym teacher pull out the huge rainbow parachute. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins whenever your gym teacher tells you the pull the chute under you and sit to make a huge "fort".

6. Putty Erasers

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You always bought one whenever there was a school store.

7. iPod shuffle.

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The smallest, least technological iPpd apple has made, made you the coolest kid at the bus stop.

8. "Education Connection"

You knew EVERY wood to the "Education Connection" commercials. Every. Single.Word.

9. " The Naked Brothers Band"

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The "Naked Brothers Band" had a short run on Nickelodeon and wrote some absolute bangers including, "Crazy Car' and "I Don't Wanna Go To School"

10. Dance Dance Revolution

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This one video game caused so many sibling, friend, and parent rivalries. This is also where you learned all of your super sick dance moves.

11. Tamagotchi

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Going to school with fear of your Tamagotchi dying while you were away was your biggest worry.

12. Gym Scooters

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You, or somebody you know most likely broke or jammed their finger on one of these bad boys, but it was worth it.

13. Scholastic book fairs

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Begging your parents for money to buy a new book, and then actually spending it on pens, pencils, erasers, and posters.

14.Go-Gurt

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Who knew that putting yogurt in a plastic tube made it taste so much better?

15. Slap Bracelets

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Your school probably banned these for being "too dangerous".

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