Anyone who has ever seen How I Met Your Mother knows that one of the best parts of every episode is seeing which "play" Barney will perform out of The Playbook. Barney is the biggest player of all time, and his "plays" truly show two things: 1. How easily (some, not all) girls can be manipulated, and 2. The reality of guys (some, not all) being pigs. In my opinion, these are the top 10 best and worst plays out of The Playbook.
Best:
1. The Rumspringa: For our first play, one must grow a beard, then shave the mustache portion of the beard off. Then, put on the most ill fitting suit you have, but no tie and wear suspenders instead of a belt. Approach the girl you're trying to impress, and explain that you're Amish and on your Rumspringa (rite of passage), and want to learn about the English before returning to your Amish lifestyle. I find this one clever and ridiculous because of the unnecessary costume and fake story. But, to each their own.
2. The Ted Mosby: This is a play in which Barney dresses like Ted and tells girls he was left at the altar, showing them his ex-fiancee's engagement ring. Definitely not original, but he'd get the sympathy vote for sure.
3. The Call Barney Stinson: This play calls for going to a sports game and holding up a poster with your phone number on it. Then, you wait for girls to text or call you. There's less work involved here, but your phone will NOT stop ringing.
4. The Missing Cat: In this one, you figure out who's missing a cat. Go to the nearest animal shelter and adopt a cat that looks like the missing cat. Then, you bring it to the owner, who happens to be a single girl. This one comes with some planning and scheming, but ultimately it's not an awful plan.
5. The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn: For this one, you have to think of a fancy, unique name. Then, you create fake websites acknowledging this fake person on their achievements. Tell girls that you're famous, and once they Google you, they'll be impressed by your success. This play is one of my favorites because
6. The Scuba Diver: This play calls for pretending to be super heartbroken about your breakup with your ex. Your friends, who feel bad for you, set you up with someone new. Ridiculously manipulative, and you might not have friends after. Proceed with caution.
7. The Hot Dude: This one is simple. Be really attractive.
The Worst:
1. The Don't Drink That: Identify the girl you want to impress. Just as she's about to take a sip of her drink, yell "Don't drink that! I saw some guy slip something in there." When she asks who did it, point to the smallest guy in the room or your friend you're trying to prank. The idea is, she might reward you for saving her life. But she also might punch you in the face.
2. The Terminator: In the middle of a party or bar, lean down and activate your dry ice. Quickly strip down. As the ice fades, walk towards your target and say "I have been sent from the future to protect you." For this one, you will DEFINITELY get punched in the face.
3. The Escaped Convict: Approach your target and accidentally knock her bag or phone off the table. As you bend down to pick it up, make sure she's able to see your leg irons. Then, tell her that you're an escaped convict and ask her to be quiet. Tell her you were in prison for a nonviolent crime and you can't go back. Tell her you broke out to see your new born daughter that your ex wife has refused to let you near, but you crawled through a sewer pipe to get there. And of course, you've showered. There's so many holes in this story, I don't think it'll make sense, but you can definitely try.
4. The European: Approached your target and introduce yourself. Talk in a strange accent like you have an ice cube in your mouth. Then, when the girl asks you where you're from, pick a place in Europe that does not exist. Apparently girls are supposed to think that Europeans are better than Americans, and take advantage of the situation.
5. The Olympian: Every two years there's a three week period during which the Olympics are relevant, this is the only time you can use this play. Use masking tape to add "USA" to the back of your warm up jacket. Cover an oatmeal raisin cookie in tin foil and attach some ribbon to it to make it look like a medal. While this one doesn't require a lot of material, it's kind of stupid.
6. The Fireman: Tell the girl you're trying to impress you're a fireman. Here's the issue, if you have no proof to back it up, you might be screwed.
7. The SNASA: Point to your drink when approaching your target and mention that you can only drink Tang in space. When she asks if you're an astronaut, shush her. Look around, and whisper to her that you're in a secret government program called Secret NASA, or SNASA. You really have to find someone PRETTY dumb to believe that.
