For those who don’t know, in Jewish families bar mitzvahs are a very big deal. It is a coming-of-age celebration, which includes a religious initiation ceremony, for a Jewish boy who has reached the age of 13. For girls, it is called a bat mitzvah and it when they reach the age of 12.

The last time I went to a bar mitzvah I was still in middle school, and now my cousin is the same age as me today. 2010 felt like a whole lifetime ago. Now in 2017, my family was surprisingly invited by an aunt of mine, to celebrate her son’s bar mitzvah. I was shocked to learn that her son was already 13-years-old, and I suddenly felt old. The last time I had seen him he was still so small and lively. And now, he’s at the awful age of annoying middle school boys.

Unfortunately due to family issues, my mom and I were the only ones available to come from our direct family and even though we were late to the occasion, I’m very glad we decided to go.

First off, upon our arrival, there were kids running around with basketballs and I knew immediately I would feel like the young adult who can’t stand those pesky kids. My mom and I then walked into the beautiful reception room, where I very much felt underdressed. I couldn’t help but stare at the women in their fancy sequined dresses and glamorous high heels, with their hair styled and curled, and about three times the amount of makeup than I was wearing. Even the middle school girls, with their small frames, wearing short black dresses and black high heels. I applaud the girl who managed to wobble around with one foot in a strappy black heel that was too big for her foot and the other foot in a cast.

Although I seemed to be the only young adult there, of my age, I felt so out of place and younger than I wanted to look. Fortunately, I managed to get my social anxiety out of the way after a while, once we were happily greeted by relatives we hadn’t seen since my grandpa’s funeral nearly two years ago. They were surprised to see us and we made small talk for as long as we could, since we didn’t know any of the other guests, but it definitely was a little uncomfortable when we were constantly asked why our other family members couldn’t come.

The star of the occasion, was definitely my fabulous aunt, the hostess and mother of the birthday boy. We immediately recognized her in the room, with a form-fitting black dress with a flower applique by her shoulder and an expensive looking fur shawl around her arms. With her blonde curls perfectly styled, and her glamorous makeup, she approached us with open arms, smiling happily. Though it was very clear throughout the night, that she was under a lot of stress.

Most of the kids were very rowdy and disrespectful, and clearly did not get the memo that it wasn’t just some big party. (They even managed to break a piece off of the chandelier on the ceiling in the reception room with a basketball). It’s still a religious occasion and I really wanted to give them a piece of my mind. However, with the annoying middle school boys in mind, there was quite the hilarious instance after the reception, as we made our way to the ballroom. My mom, don’t get me wrong, is a young attractive mom, who wore a cute dress and not as much makeup as the other women. And I couldn’t help but laugh when my mom got checked out by two of the middle school boys. One of which, happened to be the birthday boy we were introduced to right after. My mom made such a face to me afterward and I tried to maintain my laugh. Even in my black lace dress, I was quite glad that I wasn’t getting creepily checked out by any of the middle schoolers.

For most of the party, I was an attentive observer, making fun of the music and the whole atmosphere between the DJ who was trying too hard and the middle schoolers that were constantly forced back to the dancefloor. I laughed and smiled a lot throughout the night, also commending the DJ for his poor attempts at speaking Russian. In addition, as the only young adult, I seemed to be the only one laughing at the choices of music throughout the night. The DJ played rave music or modern edm very loudly, and the boys were moshing. The term is also called slamdancing, and is frequently done at punk rock and heavy metal concerts. Why were the kids moshing to edm music at a bar mitzvah?! Besides the fact that most of the adults didn’t understand what was happening, adults don’t know how to dance to edm. The DJ was constantly trying to get the kids, and adults, to jump and wave their hands in the air (like they just don’t care). It wasn’t working very well and I could tell that my aunt tried her best to get all the adults to dance and have fun.

On the other hand, I got to dance with my mom and be all silly. Sure, I couldn’t really dance much to the edm music but I was enjoying it. I knew the words to almost all of the edm songs that were played and I sang them to my mom, which made her smile. When seated at the table later in the night, they began to play slow songs for the adult couples, and my mom and I glanced dramatically into each other’s eyes and sang to each other. It was a lovely moment and truly hilarious. I then took her hand and we danced, though I have zero experience slow dancing with anyone. I laughed as my mom put my hand around her waist and we attempted to dance like the couples. I couldn’t take it seriously and then went back to being silly with her. Also, they played a Russian song we were both familiar with and knew some of the words to, and I think many other guests were surprised by this unexpected mother-daughter duo.

Overall, by the end of the night, I definitely had a lot of fun. Sure, I still wish more of my family members could have came, and I probably would’ve enjoyed it more if my closest cousin were there too. But my mom and I were some of the last guests to leave, which caught me by surprise. Towards the end, as guests were saying their goodbyes, my mom and I were too busy enjoying the abundance of dessert, and I was singing and dancing in my seat to music I wish had been played earlier in the night (such as remixes of Britney Spears’ greatest hits.) Afterward, we got free slices of pecan pie to take home and I got a really comfy purple hoodie courtesy of my aunt who got the kids one designed hoodie and the adults a different designed hoodie. Who doesn’t love free stuff? You can’t go wrong with taking home free pie. I wish I could go to more parties and family occasions, but until then, this will be quite the memorable January night, a modern bar mitzvah in 2017.