It's midterm season, y'all, and it's a crazy time in college students' lives. If you haven't been paying extremely close attention in class, there's a good chance that you are completely lost by anything that your professor says. If you spend every class session mouth agape and eyes wide staring blankly towards the front of the room, this one's for you.
1. "Let's review the homework due last night."
There was homework?!? Yikes, another zero in the grade book there.
2. "Are there any questions about what we just covered?"
Nope, there are no questions, because I don't even understand what I don't understand.
3. "If you turn to page 300 in your textbook..."
There's a textbook in this class? And we have to bring it to class?
4. "For the test next week..."
There's a test? Next week?? Good luck on that one...
5. "Please come ask questions during my office hours."
I don't even know where this building is. I don't even have questions.
6. "You can find that in the syllabus."
I have like 8 syllabi, I have no idea where that is, can't you just tell me the answer.
7. "If you want to see your results, come to my office hours."
I have to go out of my way just to see what I got wrong? Again, I don't know where your office hours are.
8. "Please send all questions to the TA, not me."
You really can't just answer my simple question? I have to track down another person?
9. "Please don't use laptops in this class."
I have to buy a notebook? I don't think I even remember how to write.
10. *Crams two chapters worth of material in one class session*
Yup, I didn't get a single word of that.
11. "No eating or drinking in this class."
I am thirsty 24/7 and you want me to sit here for over an hour without drinking water? OK.
12. "You should remember this from [other class], so I won't cover it."
Uhm, I took that class my freshman year, I definitely do NOT remember that, so can you please just refresh it?
13. *Doesn't put in test grades for months*
Because nothing causes panic like not knowing if you're passing or failing until the end of the semester.
14. "I'm disappointed that the average was so low."
If everyone's grades are low, it's probably not our faults?!? Maybe if things were explained better...
15. "If you could all fill out the online evaluation form..."
Listen, I have absolutely no idea what's going on in this class, so that form will not be pretty.
16. *Doesn't respond to any e-mails*
I think a week was more than enough time to answer my extremely basic question...
17. "Really, nobody has any questions? Last call..."
Really, I really have no idea what is going on and cannot put words together to ask a single coherent question.
Good luck on all your exams, and hopefully your professors get a little easier to understand!