Ever put so much time and effort into a major project or studying for a huge test, only to get a sucky grade? We’ve all been there once (or twice), and it’s not fun.
For much of my life, I’ve prided myself in being a straight A student. I hate Bs. I think they’re ugly and I try not to get them. If you’re a child of foreign parents like I am, or even if you’re a nerd, you know this struggle all too well.
When I was in middle and high school, my brother and I used to bring home our report cards with excitement in our eyes. We knew we’d gotten A’s and we knew a reward was coming. In my household, my older siblings, or sometimes my dad, would award us for our “good grades,” which in my Nigerian household meant “A.” When we were younger, the reward would be a trip to Game Stop for a new video game (a game that little brother and I both had to agree on but never could). As we neared junior high school, we received monetary compensation — a dollar for every “A” we got. This usually added up to about $10-$12.
Eventually, I got to high school and getting As mattered more than they’d ever before. For one, I went to a small high school, and everyone knew everything about everyone else. We were competing to be in the “top 10” percent of the graduating class, to recognized at graduation for having highest average in at least one class, or to at least be handed a cheap award in front of our friends and family in the audience. Most importantly, college was near and having the perfect GPA was on all of our minds. You can’t get into college without one, right?
Basically, that’s always been my mentality. I’ve put my grades and GPA on a high pedestal since pre-K (though in pre-K, it was a system based on “good behavior,” I assume). Now I’m a junior in college and I’m realizing that this mentality has only succeeded in working against me.
I recall one of the busiest weeks of my fall semester last year. At the time, I had put my everything into a group research project that I was deeply invested in. I had compromised sleep for the sake of getting the grade I desired (though I actually really enjoyed doing the project). At the beginning of the week, I created a set of goals for myself and I had achieved them all. Now it was Friday and I had three last things on my check list:
1. Project Presentation: check
2. Teach Bible Study: check
3. Finish and TURN IN extra credit assignment: major UNCHECK!!!
At the time, I only had one grade for my cultural anthropology class —the B that I got on my very first test. In addition to that, I did a very basic job on one of my take home tests. With that in mind, I knew I had to do the optional extra credit assignment in order to salvage my grade. The assignment was to keep a week-long journal of all reciprocal exchanges that I partook in. I began actively writing at the beginning of the week, and when I had finally reached the weekend, all I had to do was analyze my data in a concentrated essay and boom, I was in the clear!
After my Bible study had ended, my roommate (and co-leader) and some of our attendees went out for a fun night of swing dancing. I, on the other hand, closed myself in my room and started working on turning in the assignment. This was my fun (and I really mean it)! I vowed that I would not taste the sleep that had been enticing me all week until my assignment was turned in. I’ve endured exhaustion for this long, so I may as well push on for just a few more hours, I had told myself.
Apparently, whispering motivational things like this to yourself does not actually work, because I somehow managed to fall asleep FOR TWO AND A HALF HOURS! I woke up at 11:46 pm and was left with only 13 minutes to finish up my essay, log into Blackboard, and turn it all in before 11:59. If you know anything about Blackboard, you know that this was a matter of pass or fail.
With much haste, I typed what I could and logged on to Blackboard at exactly 12:00am. The assignment was no longer available.
At this point, I’m sitting upright in my bed, laptop on lap, with an expression much like Jackie Chan’s in the image. Unlike Chan, I did not remain stationary. My hands slowly fell into my lap, palms up, and my head could no longer hold itself up. The tears were next, and they were many. I can’t exactly explain the feeling that came over me. It was like hopelessness, but not quite, mixed with a bit of self disappointment and numbing guilt. I was just . . . sad.
In the midst of my tears I came to a major realization: A bad grade only changes your GPA, not God’s plan for your life!
Our plans fall through, but God’s never do. Just on a small scale, I had this entire plan of how my week would go. Everything was charted out and expected to run smoothly, yet even something as basic as that was foiled. But God has a bigger plan for each of our lives. He sees what we can’t & knows what’s best for us. A few years from now when I’m living in His plan, happy with a life, I will probably not even remember this moment. If I do, I’ll likely look back on it and laugh because everything will be going great by then.
To zoom out even further and get the ultimate picture, heaven won’t have time for the busy things of this world. Yes, school is kind of important now, but it isn’t the center of my life. Jesus and His message of hope is. If I were to die today, I’d be home. And in the presence of my Creator, my Savior, the angels, and all who have fallen, there would be no room for any thoughts of my past life in this broken world. I certainly would not be thinking about a silly extra-credit assignment.
So the next time you don’t do as well as you had planned on an assignment, just remember that it isn’t the end. A low grade in college doesn’t determine the outcome of your life, because in the end, God’s word is final. He is the determining factor. If He’s called you to be an engineer, it will happen, regardless of how bad you did in computer science (or whatever classes engineers take in college). The same goes for the future writer who can’t seem to get her English professor to like any of her pieces, or the prospective missions leader who just doesn’t get French.
We are not called to know it all, just to give our best and trust Him for the rest. Our culture values intellect and social status alone, but God values us, all encompassing. He loves us, even in our failure. Colleges look at our high school GPAs, employers look at our college degrees, but God looks at who we are. We’re more than just a numerical value. We’re His adopted sons and daughters, and He has a plan for us all.
