Bachelorette Of The Week: Sydney Schwab
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Bachelorette Of The Week: Sydney Schwab

Pros: Speaks fluent vine. Cons: Burns everything she cooks.

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Bachelorette Of The Week: Sydney Schwab
Original Photo Courtesy of Sydney Schwab

My name's Sydney Schwab, I'm a junior, and I'm studying Marketing & Business Analytics at the University of Minnesota. I'm a part of Rho Alpha, Minnesota Dance Marathon and Hillel and Chabad. I'm also a University Tees Campus Manager (let me know if your student org needs shirts)! My interests are pretty much summed up by my laptop stickers.

How would your friends describe you?

"A very hardworking, determined woman with a great sense of humor!" - Haleigh

"Smol and lovable chicken nugget looking for her chicken tender." - Ellie

"Croc loving gal" - Lana

What are you up to this summer?

After spending the first half of my summer chilling on campus, I'm now studying & interning in London! After a week here, I've been a (sad) bandwagon for England in the World Cup, confirmed American McDonald's is definitely better than British McDonald's and that life without Kraft is pretty hard.

Why are you the perfect catch for someone?

In the words of my friend Abby, "You're independent and such a go-getter. You follow through on promises, and you're super dependable. You like to have fun but you also can be serious when it comes to school and adulting. You're super empathetic and can see every side of the situation."

So, I've been told you are "great at burning toast." Do you burn everything you attempt to cook?

Pretty much. I'm pretty skilled at the microwave, but that's about it. Lean Cuisine and the new Dinkytown Cane's are definitely my best friends in the kitchen, given that I've set my apartment smoke alarm off a few times and burnt spaghetti before; otherwise, my signature dish is Trader Joe's Everything Bagel Seasoning with Cream Cheese on Toast.

What do you look for in the ideal partner? I heard a sweatshirt with a jersey over the top is really a winning combo in your book?

The scientific name is "jersey-over-sweatshirts," but yes. It's a proven fact that if a man wears a jersey over his sweatshirt, he is instantly more attractive. Just jersey, no; just sweatshirt, no. I'm hoping I can fill my biological science credit with this study...

On another note, my ideal partner should be able to reference vines at warp speed, always be up for late night McDonald's runs and, of course, be a jersey-over-sweatshirt kinda man. He should be ready to tear it up at my formals on the weekends, but also binge watch "Parks and Rec," "The Office" and Marvel movies. In all seriousness, all I need is someone who values kindness, humor, wants to have fun together and try new things.

What celebrity would play you in a movie and what genre would your life story be?

For sure Kristin Wiig! I'm a huge "Saturday Night Live" fan, and we've definitely got a similar sense of humor. I also LIVE for her impressions and would definitely die to see one of me.

If my life were a movie, it would be a romantic comedy, except I'm the quirky best friend who's the comedic relief. Almost all of my friends currently have boyfriends, so it's a little too real for me. Maybe soon I'll be the star!

As you have been named the Queen of Vine by your nominator, give us your top three vines.

Honestly, I can't pick my favorite three Vines (compilations are LIFE), but my top three quoted Vines are definitely:

  1. Boom A Child
  2. Lipstick in my Valentino White Bag
  3. Miss Keisha (that's my nickname)

Cats or Dogs?

Doggos always! I will run across University solely to pet one. Plus, 10 points to any man with a pupper (or to one who will just sit in a park and dog watch with me)!

What is your favorite kind of pizza?

Pineapple Pizza, and you can fight me on it! But also Chicago Deep Dish without pineapple. No preference between Giordano's or Lou's. #sorrynotsorry

What's your ideal date?

Honestly, I'm a simple gal. I'm always down for dinner and a movie, and it can be as fancy or as casual as wanted. However, my dream would be to go to a drive-in movie with a whole lotta snacks (Twizzlers Pull 'n' Peel over Red Vines though)!

Biggest pet peeve?

For real though, I absolutely hate it when people purposely exclude others. Everyone deserves to feel included and liked, and all it takes is extending an invitation or making conversation with a new person! And, who knows, maybe you'll make a new friend!

Most attractive quality in a partner?

As I mentioned earlier, jersey-over-sweatshirts, but also a great sense of humor. I need a man that fills my DMs with memes daily, and can have a constructive discussion in Vine references after. But, seriously, I feel most comfortable with people that laugh at my jokes and whose jokes I can laugh at.

How can those interested reach you?

Fire pics @sydney.schwab

Fire tweets @justschwabthngs

Fire networking skills @Sydney Schwab on LinkedIn

McNugget Fund @sydney-schwab5 on Venmo

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