"Bachelor" season is upon us, which means Monday nights are now filled with more drama, more wine, and more crazy. For those of you who are adamant fans, you know what's up. But for those of you still denying yourself the simple (yet insanely chaotic) pleasure of watching the show that makes millions of girls have way too high of expectations for love, you are missing out. It's good, it's terrible, but at the end of the day, you get to spend 2+ hours invested in a bunch of women you don't know dealing with problems that don't affect us in the real world.
Thinking about it, it's just like every college party I've ever been to. There are girls crying, people making out, and more drama than I can handle. Can you tell I don't get out much?
Here are the typical college girls you usually come across on a Friday night.
1. The girl who can't stop crying.Giphy
As soon as she downs a couple shots of tequila, her emotions run high and the tears start flowing.
2. The girl who is so rude, you wonder why she's even here in the first place.
She's not here to play games. She isn't afraid to tell it like it is or make a few enemies, even at a darty in the middle of the school year.
3. The girl that can't stop eating.Giphy
But like, same tho.
4. The girl that seems to always have her tongue down some dudes throat.Giphy
Hey, no judgement. You do you, girl.
5. The girl that's just a little bit on the crazy side.
6. The girl who's just there to have a good time.Giphy
She's the one dancing all by herself till 2 a.m. every weekend and always having a blast.
7. The girl too drunk to function.Giphy
You know you're going to have to help her into the Uber in about 20 minutes before she pukes everywhere.
8. The girl who only goes out to get dressed up and show off.
9. The girl who ends up leaving you for some random dude she just met 10 minutes ago.Giphy
And she's your ride. Sucks for you.
10. The girl always ready to start a fight.
You can pick her out by the shape of her eyebrows. This girl is usually quiet, loyal, and willing to bitch-slap anyone who comes between her and her one night out.
11. The girl looking for her future husband.
For some reason, this girl thinks that her Mr. Right is going to be found at 3 a.m. in the nastiest bar downtown. Trust me honey, you can do better than that.
12. The girl who won't mind her own business.
She LOVES knowing everything about everyone and makes her way through the party at least three times to get the full scoop on everyone there.
13. The girl who seems to have been raised by a pack of wild bears.
She acts like she's never been out of the house, or that her parents didn't raise her, like, at all.
14. The girl who's just there to take care of everybody.
The typical "mom" friend and DD.
If I've learned anything from watching "The Bachelor" or from college, it's that there's no such thing as normal.
I'd much rather spend my time watching Netflix in bed all day than have to put on jeans just to go to a party where drunk people get too close to me. The heart wants what the heart wants.