Ashley Tisdale Is Back With New Music That Shines A Light On Anxiety And Depression

Ashley Tisdale Is Back With New Music That Shines A Light On Anxiety And Depression

All the voices in my head...

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We all know and love Ashley Tisdale from High School Musical but her music is back. She already has 2 albums to her name, but she really didn't get to express herself through them as much as her new album that's coming out, Symptoms. She released the first song off it called Voices in My Head and when I heard it I related to it right away. We all have things that we worry about in our daily lives, and this song dives deep into anxiety and how its ok to ignore what people are thinking.

I think its good that she's talking about anxiety because it's allowing listeners to not relate to her music, but to also deal with their own struggles. Music for me is like therapy for me at times because I am able to take a break from my life and take in what the lyrics are trying to tell me.

Music teaches us that its okay to feel that way that we do, not a lot of music these days brings up topics like anxiety and depression, so for Ashley to come forward as an artist to write up her own struggles means a lot. It shows that she is just like us, and not just a celebrity that hides everything that goes on.

Most certainly, you do need some privacy as a celebrity and music artist, but I think that she realized that she needed to shine a light on her struggles in order for her to get through those tough times and to relive the tough times too. I also think that for her, she wanted her fans like myself to caught up to speed with her music and where her journey was currently at. I want to believe that her journey with Symptoms is just getting started.

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black and white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble; and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time, until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling; whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die," or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you, you are not alone.

If you're thinking about hurting yourself please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionhotline.org to live chat with someone. Help it out there and you are not alone.


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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The Kardashians Exploit Our Insecurities For Profit

From lovingly describing themselves as "anorexic looking" and promoting appetite suppressing lollipops, they are turning a profit from the insecurities of women.

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I love Keeping Up With The Kardashians as much as the next girl. In fact, it is one of the many ways my roommates and I enjoy procrastinating. But, that being said, as someone who will spend the rest of her life recovering from an eating disorder and teetering on the edge of relapse, a lot of what the Kardashians do and say is really problematic. Especially when it comes to body image, something that has come to the forefront of people's attention lately.

In a new episode, Kim seems thrilled when her sisters describe her as "anorexic looking". First of all, what the hell? Society's image of anorexia is a story for another day, but it is not whatever Kim Kardashian looks like. It's ribs and hip bones jutting out so far that it seems alien and hollowed out eyes with heavy shadows. By giving women the impression that anorexia looks like Kim Kardashian, they are promoting the idea of not eating. And trust me, it only takes a quick Google search to find literally thousands of resources to help you down the rabbit hole of an eating disorder.

But, the bigger problem, in my opinion, is all their damn advertisements on Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter for various dieting products. They are the champions of Fit Tea, and Kim received a lot of backlash for promoting appetite suppressing lollipops on her page. The problem here is two-pronged: The results of that product are falsified because they also have access to personal trainers, nutritionists, and plastic surgeons, and they are actively profiting off of the insecurities of the women who look up to them. That's messed up.

The Kardashians sell the idea that anyone can look just like them if they just drink tea that gives them uncontrollable diarrhea and substances that get rid of your need to feel hungry, a tactic that the anorexic community is famous for. For the adults that look up to them, it can serve as the catalyst to someone who is already in the "perfect storm" of suffering, and create a lifelong battle with their self-esteem, their body and their mind. Eating disorders will eat you alive.

But for the younger girls that are watching them? The Kardashians are showing them that the way to beauty like theirs is being so skinny that others will describe you as "anorexic". That the only way to beauty is Fit Tea and hating your body that is perfect and beautiful in its own way because it doesn't look like someone who has access to millions of dollars worth of specialists, and doctors and plastic surgeons. And they won't be able to see that the Kardashians are using all this in order to make money off of the fact that in our culture if you aren't a 00 and platinum blonde, you're ugly.

It's horrible that the self-proclaimed "champions of women" are making money of the self-hatred of people who look up to them, who religiously watch their show, and follow their lives on social media. It's beyond horrible, really. It's absolutely sickening.

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