Arie,

I think I speak for a lot of Bachelor Nation when I say that proposing to Becca in Peru was a huge mistake. You may think it was a mistake because it should’ve been Lauren, but really, proposing to anyone was the wrong thing to do.

The repeating refrain on The Bachelor finale Monday night was “I’m in love with both women.” Viewers were subjected to watching you struggle the entirety of your time in Peru over which woman you were going to propose to. Didn’t it scare you that you weren’t enough in love with one of the women to know in your heart which one you wanted to spend your life with?

You were still struggling with your decision the night before, and didn’t decide until the morning of the proposal which woman you were going to marry, and which you would say goodbye to. Did you ever wonder if it was a rash decision? It certainly seemed that way to viewers.

We all know the story, but what we never got was an explanation. Becca asked you many questions during your breakup as well as the After the Final Rose on Tuesday, but she never got a straight answer. If someone who didn’t watch The Bachelor asked me why you left Becca for Lauren, I don’t think I would be able to articulate the reason since you yourself could not do so to Becca at any point. Don’t you think that that is problematic?

I think that After the Final Rose was supposed to be a way for you to do damage control on heat over your broken engagement and an opportunity for you and Lauren to win the favor of Bachelor Nation. In reality, it made your situation worse while bringing to light discrepancies in your version of the story. During your breakup with Becca, you made it sound like you had no idea if Lauren would take you back. Not only did you know that Lauren would take you back, but you also went behind Becca’s back to talk to her. In my book, that’s cheating.

You continually told Becca that you knew that you had put her through a lot. Really, you have no idea what Becca had to deal with. In Peru, you claimed to be in love with her, yet you showed no sympathy during your breakup. While you dodged her questions and sat on your hands, Becca grieved your lost relationship. If you truly felt sorry, it didn’t show. Did you ever truly love Becca if you couldn’t show any remorse during your breakup?

On After the Final Rose, I wanted to give you and Lauren a chance, but I couldn’t do it. Lauren said she admired your bravery and honesty. Perhaps she thinks you’re brave for “following your heart” and leaving Becca for her. But you didn’t seem so brave in Peru when you chose the wrong woman to propose to. And honesty? Please. You completely blindsided Becca with the breakup and couldn’t tell her why you wanted to be with Lauren; even months later on After the Final Rose, you still couldn’t tell her.

Perhaps you thought that proposing to Lauren on live TV would win favor, but I can’t say that I was happy for you. After a dry interview with Becca with your wishy-washy answers and no remorse for causing her pain, you spent your interview with Lauren cuddling, kissing, and overall gloating in your happiness. Again, with no regard for the fact that your ex-fiancée was there, you proposed to Lauren. Why did you feel the need to propose on live TV when you are already so hated? It just made things worse.

Arie, I hope that you are happy with Lauren and you never regret leaving Becca. Even more so, I hope that Becca finds a man who actually chooses her every day and can be honest with her on her season of The Bachelorette.

Signed,

a fan of The Bachelor (but not you)