A local area cat has legally changed her birth name from “Mittens” to “Gloves.” The cat, formerly known as “Mittens,” says the change to “Gloves” has been a long time coming.

“Oh I’ve wanted this ever since I can remember,” explains Gloves. “Mittens doesn’t even make sense when it comes down to it. Gloves is more correct, anatomically speaking.”

Gloves (again, formerly Mittens, just so that’s perfectly clear) is a tabby from around the neighborhood with a greyish goldish coat and white paws. She says the name was given to her with little thought. “I don’t think they had any idea just how many other cats out there were also named Mittens. It got so annoying. I had to make a change. I had to do what was best for me.”

Now it seems, Gloves is just as happy as can be.

“I’m pretty much always purring. If I’m not purring, it’s just because I’m saving my energy to purr later. The new name is just who I am. I guess you could say that it fits like a glove.”

If cats could laugh at themselves, surely Gloves, in that moment would have been the first to do so.

I talked to other area cats to gage their reaction. Buttons who lives in the Anderson’s residence, not the Andersons with the green house and red trim, but the Andersons with the white house and blue trim agreed to speak with me:

“I think it’s great. Totally,” said Buttons, a dead mouse between us. “Mittens was this cat I knew my whole life, right? And she was, like, sad all the time, y’know? And now she’s so happy, probably the happiest cat on the block right now.”

“It’s more than just fighting a cliché. Mittens makes it seem like I love winter, when actually my favorite season is Fall. I like to work a lot, so now I think of my paws more like work gloves than just paws.”

The last person who called Gloves Mittens by mistake is currently in critical condition and could not be reached for questions.