Apocalypse Now
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Apocalypse Now

What happens when the girl meets the insane clown posse that you call a family?

Apocalypse Now
Zachary Douglas Kuykendall

Do you ever get that sinking feeling in your stomach that you get before taking a big final, or before diving off a cliff into water? That feeling that means whatever happens next will only be best or worst case scenario? I’m either going to pass or fail; I’m either going to break my shoulder or execute a perfect 10/10 dive into the water? That same feeling perforated me the night before I introduced my favorite person I chose to my favorite group of people I didn’t get to choose. This is the feeling I got before I finally introduced my girlfriend to the family.

Now, although the Hollywood troupes of this experience are endless, not a one can accurately describe introducing a generally well-adjusted human being to the lunacy that is the Kuykendall family. Composed of myself - an arrogant, frequently triggered (as proclaimed by my brother) social justice warrior; an Ex-Republican, Ex-Bernie Supporter, Libertarian; a pot head that has a bright future in management at KFC; an adopted sociopath that we’ve been trying to leave at theme parks for the better part of 16 years; and my mom, we Kuykendall’s are quite a bunch. Now don’t get me wrong, the girlfriend is no Regina George, between her half shaved head, eight tattoos, and consistent proclamation that cows are the best animal I remained cautiously optimistic.

When the day finally, came the girlfriend and I arrived to the designated drop location early. As we sat near the campsite entrance, we could see in the distance my family roll into the neighborhood like Kanye West into the gaslight district, except it was more like the Beverly Hillbillies rolling into Kansas. With boogie boards strapped to the roof, a trailer full of beer and two dogs poking their heads out the windows they were the epitome of familial perfection.

As introductions were made, the slow realization dawned on me, she’s not running for high ground like the tsunami signs warn, but awkwardly reaching for a handshake and then settling on a hug. The seconds turn into minutes, the minutes turn into hours, and slowly all the horror stories that have looped in my head the week before have faded off into the distance, and the thought begins to peak to the forefront of my head that maybe my family is more well-adjusted than I thought.

One of the best feelings that you can have in a relationship is the reciprocation of love and affection of people you care about for people you care about.That moment in which your family and girlfriend share a night around a campfire laughing, drinking, and playing Cards Against Humanity is a milestone that isn’t easily replicated. Realizing that your chemistry with the partner you’ve chosen can be matched by a loving and supporting family not only reaffirms your choice, but also reaffirms how much your family cares.

Halfway through the week I once dubbed as apocalypse now, I couldn’t be happier; and I couldn’t be having more fun. The family has been great, the girlfriend has been better and all things are looking up in an incredibly positive way.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Buddy The Elf Attacked by Raccoon

Finals, the time we all dread. Amidst trying to juggle a social life, lack of sleep, exams, essays, and classes, it can be more than overwhelming to juggle this crazy season of life. Thankfully, Elf gets it. Here's 15 feels of finals week before winter break, as told by Buddy the Elf:

Keep Reading...Show less

10 Pros And Cons Of Autumn

Navigating the Season's Upsides and Downsides

concrete road among autumn forest with bright orange leaves

Personally, Autumn is one of my favorite seasons. The air is crisp but not too cold, there is so much to do, and you're not collapsing from the heat. I asked some friends and family what their favorite and least favorite parts of Fall. Below is the list I put together:

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

10 Reasons Why The Arts Are Important In Our Lives

The arts have helped me a lot, they will help millions of other people, too.

Two person standing on gray tile paving that says 'Passion Led Us Here' written.
Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

I have always heard sayings like "Why study art? Why not Engineering, Science or Commerce?", "Art won't get you anywhere," "Art is useless," "You won't get a proper job" etc. I have also heard of situations of the school board planning to cut arts in schools, thinking that students won't do well in their education. Well, you know what, you all are wrong! Arts make a huge impact on our lives! Here are the reasons why art is Important.

Keep Reading...Show less

7 Reasons Autumn Is Hands Down The Best Season

From vibrant foliage to cozy vibes, explore the undeniable charm of Fall. Don't fight me on this one!

Group of friends siting on a dock enjoying the views of the autumn trees.

One of the most debated topics revolves around which season is actually the best; of course, this is mostly dependent on where you live and whether or not there are four seasons throughout the year. That being said, in the context of Marist students, here is a definitive list of the reasons why autumn is actually the best:

Keep Reading...Show less
clock indicates that it is free time

While the idea of free time without a stressful job or an abundance of schoolwork looming over your head may sound like a dream, it can be a nightmare at times. Having a couple of days to decompress is needed for a healthy mind and body. But when too many days go by, it can cause a downward spiral of thoughts and feelings.

As a recent jobless graduate, I was ecstatic to be free from responsibility and take a break from my normal life. That was until I realized just how responsible I had been and needed to be to continue being self-sustained. I learned a few things in this month of unemployment that encouraged me to find a job as soon as possible.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments