Everything that's going on in the world, coupled with everything that's going on within ourselves, can together be extremely overwhelming. Sometimes, I daydream about standing up and walking outside, and starting a completely new life. I feel this is a form of disassociation, and can help us to pause, regroup, and analyze our lives. So, here are some poems that I've written, to really grasp the emotional dynamics of me doing this.

Bounds

All ties to everything

in my life

are bound to my neck with string

weakened with the wind that breaks the clouds

and smells of absinthe.

These bounds threaten to choke me

every day, If I dont,

stand on my toes

in my six inch heels.

The day will come when I, look

out the window for the third time,

and see the sky full of storms and sunshine,

and I will choose,

to cut the strings leaving

my hands bloodied and scarred.

Ill walk out the door

leaving behind everything

and a pair of heels.

To a life where, breathing is easy,

and the only bounds I have are the ones

Gone Cold.

The sun casts a cool tone shade,

onto my ash blonde hair

as I walk down the walk

breathing in the air,

laced with smoke.

My heels make a sound,

beating the ground like a drum, without a care.

In this world, no matters here, they left

long ago when I, donned my Versace

and Vera Wang, and put on my sunglasses for the

first time, and looked at the warm sunset once more.

Before my days and nights stayed cool, my lips only

spoke blue-red hues, my eyes once a warm turquoise pool,

froze to bitter, summer ice. The pink left my skin

and fled to Caicos.

That friday evening when I faded my reds,

and washed my clothes in a bath of blue,

whited my golds and toned my hair.

The marilyn of the new millennium.

I stamp the pavement under my gait,

with memories, of my

ink-stained letters and my, dry thirst.

The days before I sold all substance to myself.

for a bottle of numbing cold.

when I traded warmth for feeling,

traded happiness for healing,

and vowed never to light another candle

for I no longer deserve any warmth.

I only deserve the icy stare of the

moonlit chandelier, above my boudoir.

Apathetic

The bitter droning in my head,

The silence that has a sound,

Forever whistling in my ear.

A lost thing never to be found.

I feel myself, lifted to the air

but I will never go nowhere.

Because all emotion has been stolen.

leaving me, only me,

driving in a beaten cadillac

with an off colored door,

on the coast of an infinite beach,

the ocean never ending.

The wind beating my still face,

eyes half shut, waiting,

for an end thatll never come.

Jumping up at midnight,

a bag of many nothings

in my hand.

The trees I didnt plant have died.

I leave the door open, because

I dont close doors.

Driving on a road I dont know

to where it leads,

but I have to leave, everything

I ever knew behind me,

Because I can take no longer,

this Apathy.