No One Wants To Hear About Your Scam

No, I Don’t Want To Try Your Skinny Coffee Or Weight Loss Body Wrap

If I wanted to drink some keto coffee, I would make my own at home.

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"Hi, hon! I was looking at your page and was wondering if you'd like to model a product for me! I think you're SO pretty and would love our products! Plus, you'd get a HUGE discount for doing so! Wanna hear more?!"

Just one of the many messages I've received through Instagram by people trying to suck me into their MLM pyramid scheme. Trying to steal my money and gaining profit off of my foolish behavior and failure to resist buying something because it says, "Lose ten pounds in a week!"

I've come to find out? They're gimmicks and jokes.



An "MLM" is a multi-level marketing strategy. Basically, it's the "legal" way to create a pyramid scheme.

You see them everywhere. It Works!, Herbalife, Optavia, Doterra, LulaRoe, Arbonne, Younique, Monat, you name it, and you've probably seen it. You've seen the ads from people you went to high school with now promoting their body wraps that'll melt pounds off your body.

News flash, they don't. It's a gimmick, like their "skinny keto coffee."

Or how they're promoting some trashy makeup products that will be jacked up in prices so the people selling them earn some kind of commission. Even your friend from high school who was in a band with you? She's selling Doterra essential oils in an attempt to say, "They're life changing! I rub the stress one on myself and I feel amazing!"

Essential oils aren't supposed to go on your skin...

These "hunbots" will do anything for a new customer or member on their team, even if it includes trying to put a sob story in their sales pitch, or say how joining their team will be an amazing life-changing experience that you won't regret doing.

When we start getting into their money and the profits they're making, it's actually less than you think. They'll say they're making up to five figures in a month! I would love to make five figures in a month (who wouldn't?), but I don't think you're making five figures a month selling essential oils and Lulu leggings.

(Update: Just saw someone I follow on Instagram promoting a new product from ItWorks!... needless to say, they got the unfollow real quick).

In all reality, they aren't making five figures a month.

They're lucky to even earn profit some months off of their sales. These MLM's are very money hungry and will message anyone and everyone just to gain a quick fifty bucks from people who are foolish enough to fall for this scam.

Then they have to learn how to make the money back they just gave to someone else because once you're apart of their team, you have to buy the products that you will then try to sell to other people. It's a never ending pyramid that seems almost impossible to get out of.

Basically, if you want to get to the top of the pyramid where you're earning those supposed "five figures a month," you have to drain your bank account and buy products to sell back to people who don't know the scam an MLM really is.

So now that your bank account is empty and you have all these skinny teas, essential oils and cruddy MaryKay makeup that you can't sell, you're screwed. You fell down the rabbit hole and decided to fall for the gimmick of sketchy selling. I'm slowly being convinced that these "MLM" groups are just cults wanting to expand their group and take over the world with their body wraps and leggings.

So for the love of God, if a "hunbot" comes into your DM's wanting you to try a new product because they think you would make an amazing model, block them. Don't accept their essential oils, move on with your life and act like they never tried to get you to join the pyramid scheme.

Image Credit: Robert Nelson on Flickr

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These Are 4 Proven Ways That Vaccines Cause Autism

Stock up on those essential oils.

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Let's just start with the first (and main) point.

1. They don't.

Susan in your anti-vax group is not a scholarly source (despite her hours and hours of Google research).

2. But in case you still believe Susan...

Maybe you'll believe Autism Speaks who says, "Scientists have conducted extensive research over the last two decades to determine whether there is any link between childhood vaccinations and autism. The results of this research is clear: Vaccines do not cause autism."

3. And if Autism Speaks still didn't convince you...

Feel free to take a look at this comprehensive list of studies that all say that there is no relationship between vaccines such as the MMR vaccination and the development of autism.

4. But here's what you should know...

There have been a few studies lately that have shown that autism develops in utero aka before a baby is even born AND before a baby can even receive vaccinations.

Vaccinations have prevented COUNTLESS deaths and illnesses. Vaccination rates are continuing to fall and do you know what that means? Measles will make its way back. Whooping cough will come back. Rubella, mumps, and polio will come back and there will be no way to stop it.

So, now that you know that vaccines do not cause autism, you're welcome to go tell Susan from your anti-vax group that as well as tell her that the Earth isn't flat. But, don't forget to mention it to her that her essential oils and organic foods are not keeping her children safe from the measles or tuberculosis.

Vaccinate your children. And, besides, even IF vaccinations caused autism, wouldn't you rather have a child with a developmental disorder rather than a child who died from the measles?

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4 Essentials You Need In The Elizabeth Holmes Starter Pack

Here are key artifacts that worked to conjure up such an individual.

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Elizabeth Holmes is one of the most infamous entrepreneurs of Silicon Valley. Her company, Theranos, which was once heralded as a groundbreaking health-care changer, deceived thousands of people, giving them false blood results and examinations.

What stunned people all over the globe, was Elizabeth herself. Her image, her demeanor, and her overall haunting presence became the center of several documentaries and past news articles. Here are 4 key artifacts that worked to conjure up such an individual.

1. Makeup 

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Ms. Holmes' beauty routine is quite consistent and easy-to-follow. For special occasions and public-speaking events, Elizabeth wears her signature black eyeliner, smeared all over the upper eyelid, and a muted red-colored shade of lipstick. Her eyebrows and face remain minimal, as the enhancement of Ms. Holmes' ice-blue eyes is the centerpiece of the look.

2. Black turtlenecks

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Several news outlets and documentaries make note of Elizabeth Holmes' obsession with Apple creator, Steve Jobs. In the midst of building her billion-dollar scheme, Holmes would adapt Job's characteristics and professional practices, such as live product launches and copying Apple's style of commercials. However, the most obvious form of imitation was Elizabeth wearing black turtlenecks every single workday.

3. Green juice

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Since Ms. Holmes worked long hours, she followed a diet that she believed would provide her energy and health. Theranos insiders reported that Elizabeth was never seen without her green juice, either in her hand or on her desk. At home, her personal chef would whip up a small dish of vegetables for dinner, giving the fraud a one-way ticket to malnutrition.

4. A deep baritone voice

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Of all the mysterious anecdotes written and said about the Silicon Valley scam, the most bewildering tale derives from Elizabeth Holmes' deep baritone voice. Luminaries who knew Elizabeth during her time at Stanford claimed that her speaking voice was high-pitched, typical of a young white female. As years passed, when Elizabeth was quickly gaining fame and momentum, her voice dropped a couple of octaves when she made public appearances. According to Theranos employees, when Elizabeth drank at company parties, her voice slipped back into the high-pitched tone.

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