Roommates: they either make or break the college experience. Whether you chose them yourself or had them assigned to you, there's bound to be a few awkward moments whenever multiple people are around in one confined space. Love 'em or hate 'em, they're always there with you at the end of the day, and every set of roommates has a few horror stories. But, no matter how bad you think your roommate is, there's no way they can top any of the roommates in these stories. So, here's a few anonymous roommate horror stories I've been told by friends, friends of friends, and even a few parents:
1. The thief with discerning taste.
"In my first year living in the residence halls, there was a bunch of random thefts going on, and no one had any idea who it was because it would happen during the middle of the day when everyone was either in class or at a dining hall. Almost everyone on my floor had something go missing, and it was always something expensive: one of my watches went missing, my roommate's iPhone charger was gone, this one girl's diamond earrings had disappeared, this other dude couldn't find his designer sunglasses, and so on. No one was sure who to expect because it seemed like everyone had been hit. All of this had happened in the span of, like, three days, so people figured out pretty quickly that this wasn't just people misplacing things. So, we all started locking our doors and the thefts stopped. It wasn't until towards the end of the semester we had found out it was my roommate who had been stealing everything, and we only found out because he left his desk drawer open one day while he was heading out to his night class and I found all of the missing things."
2. The frat-tastic roommate.
"I'm the kind of person who was never interested in joining Greek life. It seemed noisy and pretentious with manufactured self-importance. I also had a fantastic roommate during the Fall semester of my sophomore year, but due to financial reasons he had to drop out of college. So, who did they give me as a replacement in my Spring semester? The biggest, most stereotypical frat-bro I had ever met. He didn't clean his side of the room once all semester, never washed his sheets, would try to throw dorm parties constantly and then get mad when the RA snuffed them out or enough people didn't show up, and he had a giant, handmade banner of his frat's letters hanging up above his bed. One time he told me that I was gay for cleaning my ass in the shower. It was like something out of a movie, I swear. There was a time where I was convinced that he was actually just a psychology major doing some bizarre semester-long research project on me for a class because I couldn't believe just how Blue Mountain State-ish he seemed."
3. The ones who took cuffing season way too seriously.
"I'm gonna be blunt: my one roommate had a lot of sex. I didn't really mind since we didn't share a room and I'm no prude myself either, but she used to bring home a different guy pretty much every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. One day she brought home this guy I recognized from the campus' Christian group, which was basically a bunch of guys who look like they're part of the Brady Bunch and their girlfriends. I thought it was ironic that a hardcore Christian was about to have a one-night stand, but hey, it's college, things happen. But it eventually became more than a one-night stand. He became a regular hookup, even calling himself her "fuck buddy" for a few weeks up until they started dating. It was cuffing season, so I figured it would all blow over in a few months, but nope. They're still together to this day. I didn't have an issue with them dating, but she eventually started to be more and more like him. Her and I were never close friends, but she started to make disgusted faces at me as she walked around with the rest of the club whenever I walked by and told me that I should "maybe start seeing only one guy", despite the fact that I never had as many guys over as she did. One time she had his club over and they were literally playing gospel music, watching sports, and having her serve them snacks as if she was a little housewife, and that was only two months into the relationship. Her and I weren't particularly close before, and even I knew she had pulled a complete 180. She started going to church, praying before every meal, and swearing off her former friends for being 'dirty degenerates.' One time she said grace before we opened up a pizza from Dominos. I pretty much avoided talking to her for the rest of the year, since every conversation was about either her boyfriend or getting me to join them for church and club meetings."
