Here in the South, we have a special culture that extends all the way from greetings and table manners to driving etiquette. It seems like common sense to those of us who have grown up in the land of Dixie, but some drivers just don't get it. (Bless their hearts.) Here are ten ways to rile up Southerners on the road.
1. Don't give a courtesy wave.
If I'm in a hurry but I still let you over, you better believe that I'm expecting a courtesy wave. It doesn't have to be a full-on royalty wave; we all just want validation for our kindness behind the wheel. Is that too much to ask for?
2. Ride their bumper – especially on a Sunday.
If there is exactly one foot of space between our cars and you keep revving your engine to hurry me along, expect disappointment. Any Southern Belle will probably slow down just to annoy you even more.
3. Creep alongside the nearest lake or tourist attraction.
I get it. The lake is pretty as it glimmers in the sunlight of a beautiful day. But do you really have to go 45 in a 65 zone?
4. Honk at someone who slows down in the rain.
Safety always comes first, and your idea of safe driving may be different from someone else's. Driving in the rain can be a scary experience, especially for young drivers. The bottom line is that you can honk 'til the cows come home, but it won't get you to your destination faster.
5. Pretend you're in a NASCAR race as you drive around quiet neighborhoods.
While some people think you can become a bona fide Dale Earnhardt, Jr. or Jimmy Johnson by racing around neighborhoods, they are sadly mistaken. No one wants to hear your engine roaring at night, and no parent wants to see you racing around while kids are playing outside during the day.
6. Drive super fast by a funeral or a school.
Southern hospitality extends to the roads. If there is a funeral passing, we slow down and may even stop to let those in mourning pass. And if it's a busy hour around a school, we're going to go the speed limit - maybe even slower. Our kids are precious to us and we will do whatever we can to protect them, whether it's at home or on the roads.
7. Go as slow as you can while merging onto the interstate.
Yes, merging onto the interstate can be intimidating. But you know what's really scary? Going 35 miles per hour while cars are passing you left and right as they go at least 65 miles per hour. That's one of the easiest ways to get hit, so unless you want to pay for any damages to my car, you better hit the pedal to the medal.
8. Cut off as many people as you can.
Nothing says "Howdy, neighbor!" like cutting someone off at the last second, then maintaining eye contact when they catch up to you.
9. You know the people who pass everyone in line? Let them turn before you do.
It's not like you've been waiting 10 minutes to turn at the light, anyway.
10. Criticize Southern drivers.
Look here, hun: we may not drive like Northerners, but we're darn proud of it! Many of us drove a lawnmower or a tractor before an actual car. Driving is a special rite of passage in the South, and you best believe we'll defend our skills behind the wheel!
