Feelings are really hard to deal with sometimes. We get in positions where we don’t want to be, but we have no choice in. We just want to give up and maybe just lay in bed all day, not move, not feel. It would be so easy wouldn’t it?
I want to be angry.
I like being angry.
Anger is easier than happiness.
Happiness comes with talking to people.
It comes with forming relationships and making small talk.
Happiness means that I actually have to pay attention to people.
It means I have to be a contributing member of society.
I don’t know if I am ready for that kind of commitment.
Anger is easier than being sad.
Sadness usually is accompanied by tears.
Tears bring questions.
Questions asked by strangers.
Sometimes strangers are actually concerned for you.
Sometimes they ask why you are crying on the train.
I’m not sure I can handle talking to people.
Anger is easier than pretty much everything.
It allows you distance.
It allows you to drown.
It makes you alone.
It forces you to fall.
Anger is too easy.
It is easy. It is so easy to be angry. Angry at the Sun. Angry at the air you breathe. Angry at waking up. But, sometimes the easy path isn’t the one that is needed. The right path in life is going to be like climbing Everest and at times you may just want to let go and free fall because you’re exhausted and broken but I promise in the end, it is so worth it. Keep climbing. Wait for the peak. The journey is going to be hard, but the view will be breathtaking. Be sad and be happy. Your emotions are needed to survive and stay sane in life. Emotions are the air you need to continue the climb. Keep smiling because the air gets thinner towards the top.