Angel and Nicole are a recently married couple with a huge essential life question: "Does God love me if I'm gay?" For the past four years, I have been personally wrestling with this question too. I am not here to provide a snore alert sermon on the fights between Christians and sexuality but to rather address the pureness of being both. By having influences like Angel and Nicole, I know that although I felt belittled in a lot of areas of my life (specifically my sexuality), I knew that I would not be alone.
Angel, Nicole and I all attended the same college. It was a Christian college nonetheless. It was tough being a queer Christian in a predominantly straight Christian environment. Years of anxiety burned me like a match to the wick of a candle. I constantly felt the pressure to worship a certain way, act a certain way, and only chase after the opposite sex, because that was what The Bible stated. With the immense amount of social and institutional pressure, I started to hide from the ideology of God and everything that came along with it. This meant spending months in my room, silent, like a lonesome ghost. I had nothing in common with the people around me and that made me feel sad. I felt a great disconnect between me and the people around me because I was terrified that they would not view me as a Christian due to my sexual preferences. So I kept quiet.
I came across Angel and Nicole's YouTube channel when I started to feel as if everything was falling apart. What sparked my interest is not only did they attend the same University that I did but their love for nature. Instead of spending countless hours in my room, I knocked up the nerve to get in touch with nature. With a journal and pencil in my hand, I walked around campus to my favorite spot, the soccer field. You see nature will never judge you, abandon you or make you feel less loved. Much like them, when I am by myself in nature I feel adored and one with Jesus.
Moving forward I want to be just like Angel and Nicole, where I can be a "pioneer of love" for my own community. I know that my personal key to achieving a feeling of fullness is to have my wonderful girlfriend by my side and to keep our love for nature. Regardless of what you believe in or who you believe in, it is okay to understand that selfless and unconditional love will be the most powerful and effective thing that anyone on this Earth could ever hold.
