To all of the people I have ever been friends with, and especially to my friends now. I always keep a tight friend group, but that’s because I am not interested in having a big friend group. It is easy to make friends, but hard for me to keep them. I am still struggling to do that. And it’s probably because I still have stuff to fix with myself. It’s also hard for me to open up to people, truly open up, because my past has caused me to not trust anyone. If I have let you in, just know that you are so special to me. That means I trust you enough to see the “dark” side of me, the emotional side that most people think doesn’t even exist. I grew up in an unusual way, but it has helped me to be a strong person, sometimes too strong. I am very independent and I like doing things for myself. It’s not that I don’t like people helping me out sometimes, but if someone drops me, I have to pick up the pieces and do stuff for myself. And I am protecting myself from relying on people, so I don’t get hurt.
This letter is for the friends I have made at college this year. I hope you guys are in my life for the long run. And if not, well, that’s okay because I understand that people grow apart. I am obnoxious and intense, but I also care about you guys so much. I don’t like saying this, but you won’t find a friend like me. I may not be the easiest person to get along with, but I am definitely the most loyal. Someone who would and has dropped everything to help you out. Or to go to Wawa with you at 12:30 a.m. just because you don’t want to be alone. I love doing that. It makes me so happy that you have someone to rely on, and who will say yes 99% of the time.
Friends are going to argue, sometimes fight, but it’s not because we don’t like each other, it’s because we care. I have never found a group of people who have been through some of the same kind of stuff I have, and that brings us closer together. You girls are just as goofy as I am, and I wouldn’t change a thing about any of you.
I am writing this to not say thank you for being my friend, because nobody is forcing you to be friends with me. I want to say thank you for laughing at my stupid inappropriate jokes. Thank you for helping me pick out an outfit because I “have no clothes to wear." Thank you for eating your meals with me most days of the week. Thank you for stopping by my room at 1 a.m. just because you know I am up, avoiding studying for Spanish. Thank you for being there when I did need help. Thank you for not giving up on me. It means more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for being you. The little things you guys do, which a normal person would think it’s expected, I don’t. I love you girls, and I can’t wait to force you all to read this and give you a big hug too. I have so much more to say, so when it comes, be ready. Thank you.
