Dear 2017,
In the beginning, I thought we had something real; our relationship seemed promising, and you gave me hope for the future. I wasn’t sure where my path was going to lead me, but you gave me the direction I needed. You gave me the push I needed to chase my dreams. My excitement shot through the roof; I felt an electric giddiness amongst my body.
I uprooted my home, traveled miles, and planted stronger, deeper roots here; you brought me back to my true home. I faced many challenges in the beginning, but you made sure I stayed on my feet. You threw opportunities towards me and made sure I caught them. You had set me up for success and built me the strongest support system,
I was happy — I had hit the ground running, and nothing could stop me.
I was too busy looking towards the future that I never noticed the chain you tied around my neck... until you pulled me backward. I almost felt as if I was falling in slow motion, with the sense that none of what had happened was real, and then I crashed. I hit the ground at a million miles an hour, but I wasn’t aware of the damage until I picked myself up. I looked in the mirror and all I saw was a girl with bruises and shattered bones. As the bitter taste of death filled my senses, you left me broken and empty. You took something away from me that could never be given back; how was I supposed to heal?
As I sat buried under the ruble, you dropped a safety net for me. I clung to the opportunity you presented me with and picked myself back up. I began putting the pieces back together and adding new ones, all thanks to you. You provided me with the lifeline I needed, and I began to believe in your promise again.
I was at a peak. I was wrong when I thought you gave me the right direction in the beginning; it wasn’t until you were halfway gone that you gave me true direction. I was thriving. You added new people into my life, and the opportunities you provided me with became endless. I put all my trust in you as you had earned it, but what I didn’t know is that you were going to abuse it.
You took the trust I had just given you and threw it away. I was heartbroken — you broke the promise that I put my faith into. I was no longer on the peak; I was in a valley as you stole my innocence away from me. You let another individual take advantage of my body and acted as if it was nothing. As my body wracked with sobs in the corner, you were screaming at me to get back up. I felt hollow and worthless - I was empty. It wasn’t until I felt your arms wrap around me that I was lead to standing back up.
I was back on my feet, and although you began helping me reach that peak once again, I knew I had to watch my back. You continually pushed me until the peak was in my sights, but then I allowed you to lead me down a path that sent me back down to the deepest part of the valley. The familiar taste of death once again invaded my senses, and there was nothing you could do or say to pick me up this time.
I knew I would never be able to trust you after that; you left me afraid of my own fears. Our relationship is nearing its end, and I have nothing left to say to you. I sat back and allowed you to rule my life. There were peaks and there were plenty of valleys, but what I want you to remember, is that you will never define me.
