Let me start by saying I'll love you till the end of my time, even after everything has been said and done. I don't expect you to understand why I left. I wish It could of went more smoothly than it did. I wish I could of given you a heads up but I knew that you would of talked me into staying like you did ever other time before, but this time it wasn't Gods plan for me to stay. I knew if I stayed, things wouldn't get better they would only get worse. Just like they did the night I left.. May 18th of 2019.. that's a dated changed both of our lives forever, in both good and bad way. Losing you was a hard thing to do but it was also something that needed to happen even though you may not see it yet, I hope you realize me leaving wasn't only for my happiness but also for yours.
For all the years I've know you, you were my person.. the one I ditched my friends for, the one I would run to when things wasn't right, the one who would understand me when no else did. You were my whole life the only one i wanted, the one I would of giving up everything in this world for. The one I trusted the most, the one my body trusted, every part of me wanted and trusted you more than anything. You were my first true love.. a love I never wanted to give up, but I needed to. I wanted nothing but the best for us and now I want nothing but the best for you. I want you to have everything you wanted with me with a woman who loves your family as much as I did. I want you to have the same plans but with someone who loves you in ways I couldn't and give you the love I couldn't. I don't want you to think for a moment you weren't what I needed because at some point you were exactly what I wanted and needed, and who I planned on spending forever with.
It's so messy what happened between us but I do thank God everyday for putting you in my life. I Thank God for making me stay after you cheated on me several times, I Thank God for telling me to move in with you, I Thank God for every thing He put us through together because it all had a purpose we may not know the purpose but we will figure it out one day. We both made mistakes, most of them unintentional. We both let our words get out of control, we both said things we didn't mean we both did things we shouldn't of.
I'm great-full everything that happened because leaving you was honestly one of the best decisions I've ever made in just the short time we have been apart I've never felt so free and happy but I do have to thank you for everything you did wrong also, thank you for getting so mad that you acted childish and started punching stuff when we got into disagreement, thank you for storming out the door and getting in your car and driving off when we was so angry at each other, thank you for cheating on me all the times you did. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for all of it because it made me the woman I am today it made me realize my worth. Thank you for breaking my heart so damn bad over the last few months of our relationship. Last but not least Thank you for getting so damn drunk you told me to pack my shit and leave! Because all of that is what pushed me away and you telling me to pack my shit is leave is what gave me clarity. THANK YO SO MUCH!
Maybe one day you'll read this and think about all the things you said and posted on social media about me. Not saying you'll regret them but maybe it will change the way you talk bad about me telling everyone I cheated on you but In reality you cheated on me for years and I still stayed around. You played with my heart like a hot potato but I still stayed and loved you unconditionally until my breaking point, yet I will still love you and have a special place in my heart for you even after everything had been said and done. Maybe one day you'll understand. One day You'll understand why I did what I did why I left how I left and why I said many of time that we need to go out separate ways. Even the way things ended I still wish nothing but the best for you despite what you and your family think about me I will still always have room to love you but I loved you so much I had to let you go!.
