Dear Almost,

You are arguably the best thing that has ever happened to me. You taught me so much myself and for that I can never thank you enough for that. Sadly, you are also arguably the worse thing that has ever happened to me as well. You taught me the true feeling of disappointment, and I will always hate you for that.

Yet, somewhere underneath all of the hate that I have for you, there will always be an unconditional love. The love alway wins the late night battles that happen in my mind. You met me at a very difficult time in my life, and I am truly sorry about that. However I am not sorry for how things ended with us, you should be. I treated you like you were the last molecule of oxygen in a gas chamber while you treated me like I was a penny in a bank vault filled with millions of dollars.

When I met you I realized why things did not work out between me and everyone before you. You gave me a new purpose in life, one that I had never had before. Yet, somewhere underneath all of the hope I had for you there was always a disappointment.You would go days on end without talking to me or even texting me back, but I know phones are not your thing and you live life for the moment. I saw something bad coming from the beginning, but I tried to talk myself out of it and just thought maybe I was going crazy or looking for reasons to quit loving you, I was not. I saw the end from the beginning; I guess I just did not want the end to happen.

We quit talking two days before my prom, the one that we were supposed to go to together, remember?

I kept telling myself I will move on and find someone else who loves me the way that I loved you, that has not happened yet. Everyone else tells me that I will find someone else who makes me feel the way you did, but no matter how hard I try, I still try to find you in every other guy I talk to. I look for things like your kind russet eyes, your bushy eyebrows, and soft espresso colored skin. I listen to their voice and try to hear a deep voice with kind words, yet I can never find you in anyone else. Part of me will always think that you are the one that got away.

I am starting to think that this is a sign from god. You were the first time I had hope in something for a long time. You were great, you just weren't great for me, and that is okay. I am done being mad. I am done being sad and I am done being bitter. This is because in all honesty the love in our almost will be stronger than the love in most peoples always, even if it was unrequited.

With my deepest regrets for holding on too long,

The girl who loved you more than she loved herself