Dear my loyal girl,
I can understand how difficult it is to change the lens on the way you see the world. To you, the world is bright with hues of red and pink. Everything is happy and hopeful even when the people around you see the same world in black, white, and shades of grey. You are the best optimist and the worst critic with limited opinions unless having one means that the people around you go with the flow. You were never born to be a wave-maker or a game-changer and you were ok with this.
Until there is that one event that changes literally everything. When there is one person in your life turns out to be the villain in your story.
Dealing with something of this magnitude is taking broken pieces of a mirror and putting it back together. It is messy and exhausting to even think about. Your beautiful lens now has a giant crack in it and the tunnel vision that you lived in is now lifting. The world is much duller and grayer to you.
My lovely girl, do not think this is the end of your optimism. The darkest place that you could ever be is one where no one seems to understand your hurt. Breathe through it, work it out, and come to a conclusion that does not compromise your sunny disposition.
There is always a fine line between being a loyal friend and having too much loyalty. You are bound by the beliefs that others place on you, my dear girl, which makes you utterly blind to the fact that not everyone is out there for your best interest. Your naivety belies your true obliviousness when it comes to people's motives but it is okay. It is just how you were programmed to be.
I am the side of you that fails to see the importance of being optimistic in the aftermath of the disaster and urges you to remember how cold the feeling was in the pit of your stomach was when you realized that your most genuine and most reliable friend was not actually there for you. As much as I would like you to hold a grudge and feel the betrayal as a reminder to never put yourself in that position again. But it would be going against everything that you ever stood for.
My best advice during these trying times is to remember who still loves you and still believes in you. Do not think that you are by yourself. Rely on those who have shown their true colors and that you are not repulsed by those colors. You'll get back on your feet but do not think that the lenses are going to be rosy again. Add some black, white, or grey because people can't always be as sweet as you are. You'll get back up again and hopefully, you never have to hear from me again. But if you do, I'll do my best to stand you up on your ground and push you to keep on going.
Your jaded side