The day that we met is one of the few days that will never slip from my memory.
I always thought that I would be able to tell our children about that day but that thought seems like a faded dream. I should hate you. I should hate the way your eyes still light up when you talk to me or the way that you almost hold my hand when we walk by each other.
It's been 4 months. 4 months without telling you that I love you and 4 months that I have been cringing at our song on the radio.
Why can't I listen to the Goo Goo Dolls anymore without crying? Why is it so hard to think of myself spending my life with anyone else but you? Most importantly, why aren't we together if we still love each other? It's almost funny to think about. You treat me like a drug addiction. You can never stay away and it breaks my heart. Why is that? No matter how many voodoo spells I practice or days I go without talking to you, nothing works. At the end of the day, I still love you.
I think the worst part about the situation is that I am no longer myself because you are still in possession of the other half of my heart.
Don't even get me started on sleeping. Every night. Every. Single. Night. You invade my dreams and you turn them into night terrors with screaming and crying and begging to be held. Today was the worst. Today, while looking out the window, I noticed you staring at me. You were smiling, of course, with that stupid perfect smile that I fell in love with.
You came up to me and asked me if I was okay. "I'm fine. Always." I said.
Because that's what I've always said and why would I make you sad by saying the opposite? I wasn't okay. How could I be? The love of my life was staring at me and I couldn't even touch him. I couldn't hug you and I couldn't be me. They tell me that the pain won't last forever. That it's just a high school fling. No big deal. But they don't know us. If only they knew... I would do anything to be with you for one last time. Even for a second. It's you. It's always been you. I've always believed in past lives so maybe we will fall for each other again next time. Until we meet again, my love.
