Things are different, I can feel it in my bones.
It's getting better day by day. The normality is returning and the awkward encounters are shying away, but I can never take back what I did or how I made you feel, and it kills me inside.
I know we've had our differences; we both made mistakes. I'm sorry I let it slip so far. I'm sorry that I didn't have the confidence or the courage to speak up, to say what was on my mind.
There's nothing I regret more than unintentionally pushing you away when I could've used your friendship through my struggle. Your friendship is full of loyalty, laughs, and honesty. Your friendship is genuine, fun, and gratifying.
Your friendship strengthens me as a person. Although we are very much alike, your experience has given you traits and experience I have yet to acquire.
I allowed the few things I saw as cons outweigh the hundreds of pros you bring into my life.
I was selfish with my feelings. I allowed my own problems to affect you (and others in my life). I portrayed a negative attitude, a standoffish vibe, and acted as if nothing would ever get better.
I almost thought that running away would be the only way to fix it. To take my problems elsewhere and start over.
Thinking back on it now, with a more rational head on my shoulders, I could never leave the people I love, the ones that support everything I do, and drown in my problems all on my own.
I should've tried to react better to the hostility I felt between us, but my stubbornness held me back, and look where that got me. I wish I wouldn't have been so stubborn. I wish I would've been better, but I'm working on it. I'm learning from this and I'm doing my best every single day to become a better person and a better friend because of it.
I know I can't take it away. The sadness and confusion I put you through. I should not be the one asking for favors here, however, I hope we can push through with the motto forgive and forget.
I hope that one day soon, things will be back to how they were. I hope that we can remember the good times and work together to make our friendship that strong again.
I am here for you always.
I am... thankful for a friend like you. Lucky to have a friend like you. Hopeful for forgiveness from a friend like you. Hopeful to become a friend like you.
With all my love,
Mouse
