Dear Someone I Used to Love,
I would be lying if I said it hasn’t taken everything in me to avoid this day. To avoid accepting the fact that it’s no longer me who lights up your world, or makes your eyes twinkle at that thought of me. It’s no longer me who can calm you down when your world is spinning and things don’t really quite make sense. Realizing I am no longer the one who gives the best head rubs or is the girl your parents can’t stop oozing about. And, I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt like hell, but I’ve come a long way and I’m happy.
I’m happy I’ve found a career that allows me to help people, I’m happy I graduated college with honors and I’m happy that I’m finally doing things for me. And I don’t tell you all this to rub it in your face that my life is going just fine, I write this letter to let you know that I’ve found happiness after you, something I never thought I would achieve. I write this letter to let you know I’m not mad anymore, or sad, or broken. I write this letter to let you know that the way you treated me, the way you left me broken and never once fought for me has made me the strong, independent, successful person I am today. And lastly, I write this letter because I see you’ve found someone new, someone who makes you twinkle like I used to, and if you plan on keeping her I hope you are ready to give it your all, something you never quite gave me.
So here is what I hope for you. I hope you’ve learned that being inconsistent is an awful way to be towards the person you love. I hope you’ve learned there is never a good time to tell a girl she looks anything but beautiful. I hope you smile more and laugh often and I hope you learn no matter what, she is ALWAYS funnier. I hope you bring her flowers just because and realize every gesture does not have to be a big gesture for it to be magical. I hope you’ve realized that you should never let her go to sleep upset, and good morning texts and little thoughts throughout the day really do go a long way. I hope you learn to write love letters filled with all the details you adore about her. And lastly, I hope she never second guesses the love you have for her, I hope she feels so loved and confident in your relationship, and I hope you’re happy.
It’s taken me a long time to write down these words, to put into sentences how I’ve been feeling other than hate, confusion, and brokenness but I have realized sometimes two people aren’t meant to be together. Sometimes in life we think we’re going to end up with someone because in the moment we can’t picture life any other way, but that’s not true. I have lived without you before I met you and I’ve lived after loving you. I hope you find love that is pure and rare and beautiful and I want you to know that I’m going to do the same.
“We met at the wrong time. That’s what I keep telling myself anyways. Maybe one day years from now, we’ll meet in a coffee shop in a faraway city somewhere and we could give it another shot.”
And finally, after all of this, I hope in the end, you’ll find your way back to me, better, changed, still in love.
Sincerely yours, D
