You are what I think about when I think about feeling safe. There is not a time that I ever feel unwanted or uncared for when I'm around you. It took a while for me to realize that you are my true best friend. I can tell you everything and know that you'll tell me the raw and whole truth about every opinion you have even if it will piss me off.

I remember being little and wanting to be just like you. I looked up to you like you were the greatest thing in the world (and spoiler alert, you really are the greatest thing in the world). I wanted have the same job as you, grow up and get married, have three amazing children just like you did. You were everything that I aspired to be like.

And then I got older. I stopped showing my love for you the way that I did when I was little. Expressing my feelings felt weird, like I should almost just keep everything to myself and never tell you anything. I went through a phase where all I wanted to do was shut you out, keep you from knowing anything about me at all. I wish I could go back and redo all of that. I want to show you that I really did care, and tell you how sorry I am that I was that selfish to try and keep you from knowing things about your own daughter. Through all of my moods and efforts to keep you out, you never stopped trying with me.

But then I grew up. I started realizing that I needed my mom. I realized I needed to stop wanting to shut you out. I wanted you to know who I was; I wanted you to be proud of the daughter you raised, even if I was so selfish and completely consumed by myself before. It was hard trying to open up to you. I felt so exposed because I had been shut off for so long from you.

I never realized how much I really needed you though until you weren't there when things got hard. I remember thinking how munch I just needed my mom and that I would have given anything for you to be there with me, but you couldn't. You are such a wonderful human being and I am beyond lucky that I have you in my life. Everything I know is from you teaching me. I can only hope that I become half the woman that you are. Being able to tell you everything and knowing that you are my best friend is the most amazing thing ever. I will never be able to express how much I love you, all I can do is try to show you.