Dear My beautiful Mother,
Hello, it's me - your loving, caring, gorgeous, #needy, pain-in-the-ass daughter of yours. Ever since I was a small fetus in your womb, I always wanted a puppy. I could tell you right now that when I was six months old and would cry every single night so you could not get an ounce of sleep, it was because I was puppy-less. I was a sad infant because I did not have a fluffy friend sleeping next to me every night, guarding my crib from cops and robbers.
Every year growing up, I asked Santa Claus for a puppy and every year I would wake up and not hear a little pup barking at 7 a.m. So you had me jumping on you to wake you up on Christmas morning and honestly, that is definitely not as cute, trust me.
When walking home from the bus stop during high school, I would see people walking their dogs and they just looked like the happiest people to ever walk on the earth - and their dogs? Oh, their happiness just radiated. Needless to say, every single dog I saw I just had to pet - big dogs, small dogs, fluffy dogs, ugly dogs, pretty dogs, dogs that are much prettier than me and lanky dogs that look like me. I just had to pet them all. I may or may not have a problem, but this is why I have come to you.
I have come to you because my day of death (graduation) is coming in hot. Now, some seniors ask for a vacation or a lovely piece of jewelry or even a car, but I am asking you for one little thing: A pup. A pup that I will love and cherish (because once I leave college I'll have nothing to live for anymore), so I can live for this pup o' mine. After all the texts asking for a dog, the "not-so-subtle hints" of me signing you up for emails about when French Bulldog puppies become available, after almost bringing home a puppy from Ecuador, your life will be so much less stressful if a puppy was brought into my life. Given, I would have totally brought one home seven years ago, but I still live under your roof (lol *cries*) and I need your permission. So come on, give a girl a break and let's adopt a pup.
I promise, you will learn to love it too because it will be your only grandchild since I'm not having children...ever. I don't think I'll change my mind because I promise you I won't.
Xoxo,
Your Estranged Puppy-Loving Daughter.
