Dear Future Husband,

At this very moment, it is truly impossible to know who you are. Although I may think I have an idea of who you are, I am only 19 years old, and settling down into a trusting marriage is the very last event tracing my brain while juggling school, athletics, and work. I may know who's the right fit for now, but there is no true way to tell if that still holds true in 10 years. As for your identity, maybe we’ve crossed paths, but it’s also likely that we have not. Regardless, no matter who you are or where you are, there are things that are important to me, which I believe must be communicated now, rather than later.

My first order of business, I am extremely mentally flawed. I have suffered from anxiety and panic disorder since a very young age. Please accept this. I am not needy when it comes to material things, (although I always welcome little surprises and gestures as any other hopeless romantic would) but accepting my mental blemishes and the hiccups in life that are difficult for me to handle regularly, is essential to me. Support, honesty, and comfort are our best friends. Practice them please.

Although I am working on relieving my body of all unnecessary anxiety and panic, I want you to know that I will be fine on my own. It’s not expected that you complete me or fix me, since I complete myself. There is a time for you and a time for my friends. This being said, there will be occasions where the presence of you and the presence of my social circle will not intermix. I need ‘me time’ and ‘friend only time’ and am hopeful that you understand. It’s not at all personal, a woman just likes her space every once in awhile. When I say, “I love you” I do not say it lightly!

Also, I am a shameless animal lover. Not eating meat doesn’t bother me one bit, and I pray that you are supportive of this. I am not asking you to give up meat completely and alter your diet to mirror my own. I am asking you to be patient with me in the kitchen. Most nights, if you find yourself craving meat, I will selfishly ask you to prepare it. Besides meat based meals, I adore cooking and baking for family members and friends. Actually, you will often find me in the kitchen testing new Vegetarian recipes and Vegan baked treats. I ask that you’re also patient when taste testing my healthy creations, especially since they don’t always turn out. I am always open to suggestions on improving my cooking and baking, however a “great job honey” doesn’t hurt once in awhile even if the recipe didn’t quite turn out.

We must place our relationship into the hands of God. I may not initially come off as an avidly religious person, however prayer and meditation are of much value to me. I’m not asking you to attend mass each Sunday or to read the entire bible for my benefit. I ask that you are a Godly man who does not mock religion. I’ve seen God’s work and I hope to see Him shining through you as well.

I am not an aggressive feminist, however I am a feminist nonetheless. I expect you to be too. I am a giver with my whole heart, regardless of what I receive in return, and will do anything to help you in achieving your dreams. I am hopeful that you will do the same for me, and will defend me when a situation arises. I will have your back, and I wish for you to have mine as well, no matter the circumstance.

I do have to admit, there are days where I do myself up very nicely whether it be for an important event or social get together. This being mentioned, there are also days where I’m lucky if I even look at myself before leaving the house for the day. I pray that you are loving of me always, regardless of my appearance and/or attire. If we do decide to have children (which I am hopeful that we will come to an educated and mutual decision,) I hope that you will love my post-pregnancy body as if it was the body you fell in love with initially when we met. Sweats or trousers, belly bump or slim thick, I’m your girl.

Bringing this letter back to my love for animals, I failed to mention that we will have many dogs. We will have many dogs that I will spoil the crap out of and I will prepare them homemade meals each night as if they are our children. Also, if you’re reading this and know that you’re going to marry me, make sure to propose with a puppy, because what woman would say no to a puppy proposal. (If that’s not feasible, I guess I can muster up the affection to love you for the rest of our lives anyways, we just won't make it onto Twitter).

Lastly, know that I will always love you for you. Although there are days where I will be extremely difficult to manage, and nights where I will push every single damn button on your shirt, know that I am thankful for you always. I am thankful for your affectionate care towards me. I am thankful for how you dim down the lights, turn up the music, and take my hand to dance around our fireplace-lit living room. I am thankful for our morning runs with the dogs. I am thankful that you aide me back to health when I am feeling under the weather. I am thankful that you sing me back to sleep when I have nightmares and that I can wake up to your drowsy little smile on the pillow next to mine. Most of all, I am thankful that you accept me for who I am and all that I am with your whole heart.

Whoever you are, I am so happy I met you, and if I haven’t yet, I am looking forward to it.

Love you forever,