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An Open Letter To Facebook

I am not an avid Facebook user. At least, that’s what I told myself in high school.

Corbett De Giacomo
Mar 01, 2016
Southern Methodist University
18
An Open Letter To Facebook
variethy.com

I am not an avid Facebook user. At least, that’s what I told myself in high school. To me, Facebook used to bring back a whole bunch of not too pleasant memories. Facebook stalking your own profile back to 2009 will only make you hate yourself. I’ve been there.

Trust me, you do NOT need to see all 200 apple store selfies you and your friends took while you waited for your moms to pick you up from the mall. I am warning you right now: don’t read the captions to these aforementioned pictures. I am *~cRiNgInG~* just thinking about this.

I successfully avoided Facebook until college, when suddenly, just like crop tops and ripped jeans, it was back.

I got back on because future employers/sorority girls/general lurkers look at your social media and I wanted to clean up my act. I don’t mean this in a “you have too many red solo cup pictures” type of way, I mean it in a “this extremely unflattering picture of you in head to toe Aeropostale is worth a thousand words and they are all ‘yikes’” type of way.

Long story short, I was back on the grid. I uploaded a few recent pictures just to let my “friends” know I was still alive.

That’s when I saw it. An article entitled something along the lines of “Dear High School Best Friend.” That tear-jerking son of a gun got me, and it got me good. I was hooked. I finally realized I was in too deep when my roommate conveniently walked in as I was crying over an Extra Gum commercial.

Facebook, you win. As a now firm believer that those 30 second food videos deserve their own category at Sundance, I can truly say you’ve outdone yourself on this one.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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