Dear Ex-boyfriend,
Did you know what you did? Even if time passed, and they say time heals, you hurt me. No matter who broke up with whom, you broke me. I didn’t believe that I could love again. I didn’t believe in myself. You would say sorry, but did you mean it? Sorry doesn’t cut it. In fact, sorry became just as ordinary of a word as 'bye'. I don’t believe that you truly meant it. If you did, you would’ve stopped. I thought I was in love with you. I forgot my friends and family. I forgot about my faith and promise to God. I was enveloped in your words as they wrapped around me. I didn’t realize that those words weren’t comforting, but suffocating. “I love you, baby.” They were sweet words. What did you do for me? You left me believing that everything was my fault. You left me feeling trapped. My feelings didn’t matter to you. You wanted me back, but I remember how controlling you were.
You got upset over the smallest things like me talking to guys. We got in fights over it, even when we weren’t together. I knew I had to cut you off completely, or I would never be able to walk on my own. You were not only lazy, but verbally abusive. I knew that you weren’t good for me, but you kept coaxing me, anything to get me to stay. I didn’t know what else to do because I believed every word you said. I thought I loved you. I thought that it was all part of a “normal” relationship. What could make me happier than with you? You sugarcoated everything to make you seem sweet and loving. Every time we fought, you begged for me to stay. You claimed to care and that you didn’t mean any of it. You can’t go back on those words and act as if they didn’t hurt me. I regret being with you.
That’s what I thought, anyway. As much as I want to hate you and call you a billion names that would hopefully make you feel crappy about yourself, that’s not why I’m telling you all of this. I want to thank you. That’s right. I want to thank you for hurting me. If you never did, I wouldn’t have become stronger, or more independent. I wouldn’t have learned to love myself without the need to depend on someone else to tell me that I’m pretty, or someone to say 'I love you'. I couldn’t truly love someone until I looked in the mirror and loved myself. Thank you because I wouldn’t have learned that I deserved a lot better than what you gave me. Whether you claimed to love me after doesn’t matter anymore, but that I learned from those mistakes. I do hope that you find some sort of happiness, I guess. Getting over what we had wasn’t easy, just so you know. I did love you, but I’m glad that what you did to me had opened my eyes to the person that I would rather be with. Don’t take it to heart too much. Without our breakup, I wouldn’t have grown up and learned from the experience. I guess I can thank you for making me a better person.
Sincerely,
Your Ex-Girlfriend
