With tragedies around the world happening more frequently than ever, have you been worried about how to properly show your emotions in this time of sadness? Have you been wanting to share your empathy, frustration and activism to prevent this from happening again? Well worry no more! When the next tragedy arrives, just follow these eight simple steps and you'll fit in with every other American.
1. Go into denial.
This works perfectly for mass shootings. Most likely you'll see people saying something along the lines of, "I can't believe this happened, when will the violence stop?" Of course everyone knows that the violence will stop when we unite and take real action, but now is not the time for rational solutions, now is the time to post something like this on social media.
2. Pray for (insert city here).
You might be wanting to turn your sadness and grief into real action now that you've updated your status, but slow down! It won't be long before politicians flood your television with some prepared statement like, "We don't have all the facts yet. The best thing for Americans is to pray for the victims and their families." You don't have to look for the facts yourself just yet. Right now, the best you can do is sit quietly with your hands folded doing nothing.
3. Change your profile picture to support the victims.
The Eiffel Tower, a rainbow, the Belgian flag, a police shield, anything generic will do. Now everyone knows you're helping by supporting the victims and their families! OK, maybe you're not actually helping. But hey, at least it looks like you are and that's all that really matters right?
4. Call for action and reform.
Now that you've had proper time to grieve, it's finally appropriate for you to express your views on how to prevent something like this from happening again. This is actually a rare genuine action that could help solve the problem that led to a tragedy by having an informed discussion about the issues. Unfortunately, this discussion will be had on social media and in turn will lose all of its value.
5. Engage in heated debate.
Post. Counter-Post. Post. Counter-Post. Everyone has a voice on social media, which means everyone can share their opinion no matter how misguided and wrong it is. Nonetheless, this is still a rare genuine action that could help solve the problem that led to a tragedy by having an informed discussion about the issues. Unfortunately, this discussion will be had on social media and in turn will lose all of its value.
6. Learn that the issue isn't as simple as you thought.
One good product of the debate you just had on social media is that now you understand that the issue you once thought was black and white is actually really complicated. Don't give up now though, there's still hope to make a change. It just probably won't be because of you.
7. Put faith in the government to solve the problem for you.
The government, of course! You're not smart enough to solve the issues. That's why we elected these smart guys. Leave it to them to get stuff done; I mean if 90 percent of people want federal background checks before someone buys an assault rifle, I'm sure they'll make sure that happens. Actually, wait, they didn't pass any gun reform after the worst mass shooting in the history of the country. But don't worry, they'll get it done next time.
8. Wait for the next tragedy and repeat.
As long as you followed all of these steps perfectly, this last one shouldn't take too long. After all, you weren't really helping, you just made it look like you were. The sad thing is, for most Americans, that's enough. But if you're one of the few who actually wants to see real change, then I suggest you stop worrying about social media and take real action.
