Iconic. Beautiful. Radiant. Soulful. Talented. Influential. Broken. Only a handful of words to describe my idol, Amy Winehouse.
I grew up listening to her 2006 album, "Back to Black." Something about that album always spoke to me and I always felt as though she were singing for me, even to me sometimes. I fell in love with her voice and the soul and heart that I could feel radiating from her songs. I lost her "Back to Black" album and, honestly, I forgot about her for a while. It wasn't until last year when I saw a movie made about her that I felt my love for her rise again. The movie is called "Amy" and is a documentary about her life and has a few unreleased songs on it. After watching the movie, I looked up all her albums and songs and listened to them for months. My mom gave me all of her albums for my birthday and I am now able to listen to my idol whenever I want.
Once, I mentioned that Amy Winehouse was my idol. I got some strange looks from my friends and even the adults around after I said that. "Wasn't she a druggie?" "Didn't she drink herself to death?" "Why is she your idol? She was a mess."
Well, she wasn't always a mess. The frame made her a mess. She suffered from substance abuse and anxiety. At one point, she lost a ton of weight and was not leading a healthy life. In early 2006, people who knew her said they noticed a rebound and that coincided with her album "Black to Black." But, through other bad choices she made, I have always loved her and will continue to love her.
I've suffered from depression and at times felt as if no one knew what I was feeling and felt as if I had no one to talk to. As cheesy as it may sound, she helped me. When I felt like no one was there for me, Amy sang to me and helped me realize that I'm not alone. She has boosted me up in my lowest moments and has even helped me through heartache. I listen to all of her albums everyday; getting ready for classes, going to practice, in the car driving, doing homework, anything. She is always with me and it's the best feeling.
Often, after someone passes away, they may be remembered by a few, but are later forgotten. I don't think I'll ever forget her. Her voice, the soul and amount of heart she'd pour into every song and performance will always be inside my heart. To me, Amy Winehouse was a gift to us all, who very few recognize this to be true. To me, she wasn't a druggie, alcoholic, or bad influence. These things have happened in her life and she struggled through them all by herself. But to me, she's my idol. She's a beautiful, talented woman who suffers through the worst and ended up taking her issues and making heart-touching songs from them.
Amy Winehouse, thank you for creating the soundtrack of my life. And thank you for helping me through some tough times.
