Dear men,
This is from all the girls who are tired of giving their all to the guys who are afraid to give back. From all the girls that care “too much” and are put down for doing so. We are tired of constantly having to break down walls to find the affection we need.
To all the guys that need to realize you can’t have a girl, and not want her at the same time. I’m not going to beat around the bush here so I’ll just come out and say that I get it. You’re guarded, and you’ve been hurt. You don’t want to waste your time because you’re afraid that the second you stop putting yourself first, you’ll start making compromises you’re not ready to make.
You get angry when you feel pressured to give more than you’re already giving. You don’t understand why the person you are right now may not be enough for the person you’re currently with.
Let me start out by saying the following:
1. If you’re not happy with the girl you’re currently with, then leave.
If she doesn’t make you feel like you’re good enough for her, then leave. If she puts you down and makes you truly feel like you’re always wrong and a disappointment, then leave. You shouldn’t be with anyone that doesn’t make you feel good being who you are. Don’t apologize for who you are.
Now if you’re with a kick-a** girl that you know will go above and beyond for you, and you don’t want to meet her half way, then you have two options:
2. Leave her and realize you’re not ready to prioritize someone else or apologize for your inconsiderate ways and actually try to do better.
This is different than apologizing for who you are. This is recognizing that you’ve been inconsiderate and hurt someone you care about and don’t want to lose.
You see, you CAN'T have your cake and eat it too. You can’t want a girl to be consistent in your life, but not want her the second you feel like you’re being asked to consider her the way she considers you. She’s only human. Learn to understand her. If she makes you happy, take a risk on her and at least try to teach her where you are coming from, and be vulnerable.
3. We’re human, Not expendable toys.
It hurts to be pulled in and pushed away at the convenience of someone. So if you like the girl you’re seeing because she makes you feel important, special, wanted, and is something to desire, then respect her as someone that is worth your consideration and time. Give it to her before she has to ask for it.
Find some way to drop that guard you’ve been holding up for so long, and realize that you’re never going to be happy with someone if you’re not willing to be vulnerable first. Realize you can’t truly enjoy falling for someone until you’re willing to let them in. Understand that the girl that you care for, but refuse to let your guard down to, may not wait around for you.
Figure out how to be there for her and at least try to give her what she deserves. Sometimes, you're just not ready to date and that's fine. However, if you're trying to hold on to someone that you are not ready to truly consider, then maybe you should let that person go.
Maybe reading this will encourage you to fix your ways in order to make that person you want to actually stick around. The choice is yours.
Sincerely,
The Girls Who Are Tired Of Boys Who Want To Have Their Cake And Eat It Too
