Every 90's kids' favorite tween star has battled to remain relevant since the end of the beloved Amanda Show. Since then we have loved her through the good, the bad, and the illegal. If her stardom story was told as a college career it would go a little something like this.
Freshman Year: Amanda enters college like every Freshman does: optimistic, energetic and skinny. She uses her innocent comedic wit to become popular with her hall mates. Annoyingly eager, Amanda joins every possible campus club. After starring in “Big Fat Liar”, a romantic relationship blooms between her and Frankie Muniz. She enjoys singing karaoke with her pledge sisters at the local 18+ bar on campus, where she denies ever tasting alcohol. She takes her favorite dancing lobster to semi-formal, where they find a way to dance without actually physically touching. Every Sunday after chapter, she and her sisters bake gluten free cookies for the homeless.
Sophomore Year: Amanda comes back from summer vacation wise, confident and mature… well sort of. After her big role in “What a Girl Wants”, Amanda decides to explore the new concept of rebellious sass. She utilizes her charming girl next-door image, and post pubescent figure, to get exactly what she wants. She moves out of the dorms and into the sorority house, where she learns the necessity of protecting her groceries from hungry, srat vultures. After starring in “ She’s the Man”, Amanda gets her first glimpse at the perfect male physique from one Channing Tatum. After this experience, Amanda is not only comfortable looking at beautiful men, but also dressing like them. She organizes a themed mixer around her new favorite cross dressing trend.
Junior Year: Fresh off of the set of "Easy A", Bynes has a mid college crisis, and decides to retire from acting, and drop her sorority. She is arrested for a DUI and multiple on campus hit and runs. After tweeting multiple offensive love messages to rappers and presidents, the school expels her for the next two semesters. With so much time on her hands, Amanda decides to get involved with excessive plastic surgery and recreational drug use. Nevertheless, Miss Bynes is admitted back for the next year, and celebrates by throwing her paraphernalia out the window at a by passing ex sister.
Senior Year: Amanda starts her first senior year (and certainly not her last), but is soon forcibly placed in a facility for her mental health. She is currently waiting out her release by practicing her rap game and buying hideous wigs.
On behalf of every 90's kid, we love you Amanda, and we are rooting for your graduation.
