I have spent this entire semester learning. Not learning from books or classes, although I've done that too, but learning about who I am. Here I am about to break into my twenties, college student, employee, and generally running around like a chicken with my head cut off to keep up with my obligations. Looking at my life I can find where my hard work has paid off. I can plan for my future, and know my goals with every intention of reaching them. I am truly happy. I'm proud of my ability to grow where I have chosen to plant myself.
The stigma around the early twenties is that you find the love of your life, get engaged, plan a wedding,start having kids, get a degree,and then jump into "real life." And don't misunderstand my attitude here, I think that all of those are beautiful and wonderful things. I have had that mindset for a long time. That was my life plan for so many years, and I won't ever discourage or look down on anyone that finds themselves on that path. I am in full belief that you can have all of that together by 23. But as my semester has gone on, I have made the decision that I don't need to shoot for all those goals at the same time. There is nothing wrong with getting married at 20 or getting a degree at 30, or vise versa. You are not obligated to meet any timeline, and don't be pressured into meeting those expectations.
For the past few weeks I have noticed the startling number of former classmates and friends making all of those "big life dreams" a reality. I've seen so many engagements, babies are all over my social media timelines, so many are becoming college graduates, and I couldn't think of anything better to be watching unfold in so many lives. I celebrate these exciting seasons right along with them.
Seeing all those events always makes me very introspective. I can look at where I stand, 19, no plan of marriage any time soon, two more years of school, and a whole lot of growing to do. And more often than not I find that I'm tearing myself down. Why am I not planning every single aspect of my life? Why am I not graduating sooner? What did I do to look like a failure? Do my former classmates look at me like I'm falling behind?
It is so easy to look at your life in comparison to the big events in others lives. But don't forget to remind yourself that not all lives play out the same way. Not everyone is able or wanting to go to college right out of the gate after high school, that's okay. Don't let this society tell you what matters. You are no less of a person. The same goes for anyone that decided college wasn't for them after a semester. You are no less of a person, and your intelligence is not grounded in the opinion of those looking for validation in their own misery and struggle as they try to make through another semester. Whether you feel like you're behind in school, or romance, or in the career field, take a step back.
Life isn't a competition of who can hit all the goals first. It's an adventure. No two adventures are the same, if they were we wouldn't have any fun. Rejoice where you are planted. Learn to love your situation because there is a purpose, even if you feel like you are simply treading water. You are exactly where you need to be.
