30 Darn Good Ways You Can Curse At Your Mother Forking Day Job

We've all been there. You know what I'm talking about. Something might just grind your gears at the wrong time and place. In front of kids? In class? With your family? Speaking to the current President of the United States? Yeah you know. Obviously some choice words need to be avoided here, but in the moment sometimes it's hard to remember any good alternatives. Don't fret, the following list is full of great words to use for that perfect moment.

1. "shoot"

Shooters shoot!

2. "frickin'"

A classic twist on a classic word.

3. "shiitake mushrooms"

The root word here is essential.

4. "fudge"

Remember throwin' this word down in front of your friends at recess and feeling like a B.A.? Yeah I do.

5. "sweet mother of Jefferson Davis"

A personal favorite of Ryan Palendang. Ask him who Jefferson Davis is.

6. "oh shitzu"

Cute dog makes for a cute phrase right Lex?

7. "fudge nuggets"

Better than chicken!

8. "jiminy crickets"

A usual parental term.

9. "son of a nutcracker"

Made famous in Elf, this is a multi-seasonal term in gkelly's opinion.

10. "fricken crap"

2 in 1!

11. "crap bag"

There's really nothing worse... just ask Grace.

12. "motha jumpa"

Another Common phrase by Grace Kelly. The actress or the Creighton student? You take your pick.

13. "jerk face"

A "resting bitch face" or "resting confused face" may be better than this...

14. "poop"

A commonly used word in all languages.

15. "turd burger"

Don't order this at McDonald's.

The following are Grace Schander's alternatives to "calm your tits."

16. "hakuna your tatas"

Similar to "hakuna matata" with a slightly different meaning.

17. "don't have a rack attack"

Just don't.

18. "destress your breasts"

Sometimes you've just got to!

19. "adjust your bust before it combusts"

No one wants that to happen.

20. "biscuits and gravy"

It just works okay?

21. "son of a biscuit"

Hey Sara Stonebraker did ya say this when you hurt your knee again?

22. "___ really butters my roll"

And I did not want butter on my roll.

23. "sugar honey iced tea"

A recipe that doubles as a substitute cuss word!

24. "fiddlesticks"

Can we have the language of origin please, Maddie Shamburg?

25. "mother of pearl"

So many mothers!!

26. "shart"

A close relative of sh*t.

27. "weenie"

Hotdogs or weenies or legs? You tell me DelMonte!

28. "fork"

Srah Delmonte's favorite utensil and alternative cuss word.

29. "frack"

What's frick without frack?

30. "bish"

Close enough to the real thing right? Too close? Oh well.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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