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30 Darn Good Ways You Can Curse At Your Mother Forking Day Job

"Son of a Nutcracker!"

Sammy Cho

Apr 24, 2018

Creighton University

181

30 Darn Good Ways You Can Curse At Your Mother Forking Day Job

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We've all been there. You know what I'm talking about. Something might just grind your gears at the wrong time and place. In front of kids? In class? With your family? Speaking to the current President of the United States? Yeah you know. Obviously some choice words need to be avoided here, but in the moment sometimes it's hard to remember any good alternatives. Don't fret, the following list is full of great words to use for that perfect moment.

1. "shoot"

Shooters shoot!

2. "frickin'"

A classic twist on a classic word.

3. "shiitake mushrooms"

The root word here is essential.

4. "fudge"

Remember throwin' this word down in front of your friends at recess and feeling like a B.A.? Yeah I do.

5. "sweet mother of Jefferson Davis"

A personal favorite of Ryan Palendang. Ask him who Jefferson Davis is.

6. "oh shitzu"

Cute dog makes for a cute phrase right Lex?

7. "fudge nuggets"

Better than chicken!

8. "jiminy crickets"

A usual parental term.

9. "son of a nutcracker"

Made famous in Elf, this is a multi-seasonal term in gkelly's opinion.

10. "fricken crap"

2 in 1!

11. "crap bag"

There's really nothing worse... just ask Grace.

12. "motha jumpa"

Another Common phrase by Grace Kelly. The actress or the Creighton student? You take your pick.

13. "jerk face"

A "resting bitch face" or "resting confused face" may be better than this...

14. "poop"

A commonly used word in all languages.

15. "turd burger"

Don't order this at McDonald's.

The following are Grace Schander's alternatives to "calm your tits."

16. "hakuna your tatas"

Similar to "hakuna matata" with a slightly different meaning.

17. "don't have a rack attack"

Just don't.

18. "destress your breasts"

Sometimes you've just got to!

19. "adjust your bust before it combusts"

No one wants that to happen.

20. "biscuits and gravy"

It just works okay?

21. "son of a biscuit"

Hey Sara Stonebraker did ya say this when you hurt your knee again?

22. "___ really butters my roll"

And I did not want butter on my roll.

23. "sugar honey iced tea"

A recipe that doubles as a substitute cuss word!

24. "fiddlesticks"

Can we have the language of origin please, Maddie Shamburg?

25. "mother of pearl"

So many mothers!!

26. "shart"

A close relative of sh*t.

27. "weenie"

Hotdogs or weenies or legs? You tell me DelMonte!

28. "fork"

Srah Delmonte's favorite utensil and alternative cuss word.

29. "frack"

What's frick without frack?

30. "bish"

Close enough to the real thing right? Too close? Oh well.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

30 Darn Good Ways You Can Curse At Your Mother Forking Day Job

"Son of a Nutcracker!"

1. "shoot"

2. "frickin'"

3. "shiitake mushrooms"

4. "fudge"

5. "sweet mother of Jefferson Davis"

6. "oh shitzu"

7. "fudge nuggets"

8. "jiminy crickets"

9. "son of a nutcracker"

10. "fricken crap"

11. "crap bag"

12. "motha jumpa"

13. "jerk face"

14. "poop"

15. "turd burger"

16. "hakuna your tatas"

17. "don't have a rack attack"

18. "destress your breasts"

19. "adjust your bust before it combusts"

20. "biscuits and gravy"

21. "son of a biscuit"

22. "___ really butters my roll"

23. "sugar honey iced tea"

24. "fiddlesticks"

25. "mother of pearl"

26. "shart"

27. "weenie"

28. "fork"

29. "frack"

30. "bish"

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

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