I am 19, and I've never been in a relationship. That may come as a surprise to you, since Hollywood and society has told us that you have to have at least one relationship before you get to college. I, on the other hand, have taken a different route.

In high school, I had the generalized thought that many of the girls with boyfriends were trying to fill a void in their life, a void that every teenage girl has: the desire to be wanted. I was never ready, though, to have a boyfriend. Sure, I "talked" to boys, getting to know one another through cell phones and social media. However, I knew that this was exactly what I didn't want. I didn't want a relationship built off of un-animated device like a computer or a cell phone. I wanted them to get to know the real me, the one behind the computer or cell phone.

The main reason I did not want to be in a relationship, though, was because I was scared. I saw what relationships did to my friends, changing them in ways I never thought were possible. My fear only worsened when the boys were breaking their hearts, since I was the friend that ended up collecting all of the broken pieces. I already struggled with my self-esteem, so I surely didn’t want to be with someone who could easily break me. The thought that someone could have so much power over me absolutely terrified me.

My freshman year of college was no different. I was on my own in a new state at a new school. It was easy for me to get caught up in the “hard-to-get” game at parties, with drunken guys fawning over me like I was just another trophy to their collection. I was still upset, though, because I knew deep down inside that these guys would never be interested in me if they were sober. I began to feel like I was only acceptable when the guy was drunk. I eventually swore off guys completely, a promise I kept the entire year.

It wasn’t until this past summer that I realized the benefits of being in a relationship. I’m not exactly sure what happened, but something in me clicked one day, and my fear of a relationship was not my biggest fear. I could see how happy my younger sister is with her boyfriend, and my perspective on relationships changed completely.

I’ve never been the girl that guys swooned over. I’m not the girl a guy would spot across the room at a party and have him bending over backwards to try to impress me. I’ve often thought of the reasons that guys don’t seem to be more interested in me besides being a “bro,” even asking some of my guy friends what they saw in me to be considered a bro. From the four guys I asked, they all generally had the same answer: all four of them were simply too comfortable around me. When I befriend someone, I encourage the person to be his or her self completely. In most cases, this would seem like a gift, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought of it as a bad thing. Would I always have this problem? Could a guy never be romantically interested in me because he was too comfortable in our friendship?

After much thought, I came up with a conclusion: it’s okay not to be the girl that guys didn’t see as a bro. I came to realize that having guy friends that were comfortable around me only made me appreciate the fact that I never lowered my standards before. I realized that being single rocks, especially when the right guy hasn’t come around. I knew I never needed a guy to complete me, but I was finally able to see the idea of two individuals coming together to share their life together. I realized that not having a relationship before made me appreciate the finer things a relationship can bring and not settling for anything less than ordinary.

So to all of the college girls that haven’t began their journey in love lives, it’s okay to be single and to have been single for a long time. Things happen for a reason, and the time you have had to get to know yourself without a guy in the picture is incredibly valuable. Your standards aren’t too high, unless you are comparing every guy to Patrick Dempsey. Then I would be concerned. Other than that, though, standards are a good thing to have and should not be compromised. You know that you aren’t just going to settle with just anyone, and that is something to be proud of. Keep you head up, dance to Beyonce, and remember that the only person that will always be with you is yourself. And when that guy comes around and sweeps you off your feet, you’ll already know what it’s like to be in the longest relationship you’ll have with anyone: yourself.