“I want to go because I think I will hate it.”
Confused yet? Me too and I wrote it. I was a college sophomore when I typed this sentence on a school computer. The university I attended, St. Lawrence University (Here we go Saints!), I chose because it is the most wonderful place in the world (I am biased) and also because of their prestigious and successful study abroad program.
The time had come to choose what program I would apply for, what country I would go to, and ultimately, how I would be changed. Different destinations offer different voices allowing various parts of “you” to wake up. I believe this is greater than any sight you will physically see while in a new place, though often sights provide the point of realization.
Kenya and London. I narrowed my decision down to these two potential suitors. Having grown up in rural New Hampshire and chosen to attend a university in Upstate New York, I tried to conceptualize the differences between these small, cozy places and my two chosen destinations.
I had never been to the UK, nor to Africa. I highly enjoyed the outdoors but am also highly allergic to it which I continually ignore (please do not wave grass in my face). Though not diagnosed by a professional, I was also allergic to cities. A bold diagnosis I determined at a young age, except the older I got, the more I realized I made this assumption without any concrete data to back it up. Silly seven-year-old Leslie.
After days of thought and consulting with my family and friends, I opted the London route with much apprehension to the decision I had ultimately come too. Though you are able to apply to two programs, I decided London or bust much to the dismay of my own thoughts. I had fallen in love with the idea of exiting my comfort zone and adventuring in an environment I had never given the chance too. I tried to convince myself Kenya would be just the same, but for some wild reason, my brain kept saying London. I wanted to prove my childhood self wrong.
And so, my rationale for going to London became, “I want to go because I think I will hate it.” I wrote this exact sentence on my application.
Five months and all of bangers and mash later, I left London on a 7 AM flight bound for Boston. I remember pondering the whole way home, trying to harness my thoughts enough to put them down on paper as to the experience I just had. I was ecstatic to see my family and friends in the US (hi mom, dad, Dan, and dogs!) but I would be lying if I did not say I was leaving a piece of me in Muswell Hill. While in London, I discovered one of my literary heroes, Pico Iyer thanks to one of my Professors (shoutout: Dr. Bob Cowser). I could go on forever about Iyer’s words. Immediately, I thought back to a line he said during a Ted Talk:
I had found a piece of my soul in a place I had denied for so long, a place I used to loathe going to due to excess stimuli, crowds of people, and lack of free space. I acquired a passion for the sounds of the city outside of my window, the anonymity of walking the streets, and the accessibility of public transportation. I loved being me in a crowd full of people though no one knew of my existence beyond the space I took up in an elevator we shared together. Lastly, I absolutely adore British people, culture, and experiences. I experienced some of the best places in the world with some of the best people during my adventures in Europe. Soon after, I went to live in Sweden as well (stay tuned for more articles). I am beyond thankful for the feelings London gave me. They set the bar high for the feelings I now seek out in every new and old endeavor.
My home has now seemingly switched to planet earth, stationed within the people and activities I love and the destinations that I have learned to love, for example, a city. The summer after studying abroad, I had the opportunity to grab an internship on Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C., something I would have prior slapped you for if you told me this would happen.
I think this is the best part of traveling; through subjectivity, it allows the traveler to interpret every sight with a different perspective, one that has the ability to not only provide a wonderful experience, but also to bring you home. See what I did there?
