A Letter To My Dog In Heaven

Dear Chloe,

Your food bowls sit empty in that same garage, and your hair still sticks to your bench seat where you slept every night for ten years. Your body became old and tired. You felt like you just couldn't go on anymore, no matter how bad you wanted to.

I remember the day I got the phone call like it was yesterday. Mom sounded upset as she told me the news. They were on the road to the animal hospital in hopes of saving you again like we had a few months before. I didn't think anything about it being serious. I thought you'd always be there and ready to take care of me when I was sick, or just needed someone to hug when I was upset.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F03%2F22%2F636258019027189945505276208_%3Fui%3D2%26ik%3Db26c807018%26view%3Dfimg%26th%3D15af6fa0ceff9e84%26attid%3D0.5%26disp%3Dinline%26safe%3D1%26attbid%3DANGjdJ_WRDPfcRWwUjnLOHMC3z-6yk73YN_LV9wQNRAAVjC9zoFhoUhaA5z8c_9Dzjr61IPX3GZ5Jso1CkN-Fxn44qIWzLzKr-aOHCl7mPXGirNihXZV_4oKHZqjlqw%26ats%3D1490202617776%26rm%3D15af6fa0ceff9e84%26zw%26sz%3Dw1366-h654&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=404&h=6f2f5493a8ae1bd7d49c9e246c5b21f2ed45fbb91e53af3ab662a69005de0c07&size=980x&c=3228353149 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F03%252F22%252F636258019027189945505276208_%253Fui%253D2%2526ik%253Db26c807018%2526view%253Dfimg%2526th%253D15af6fa0ceff9e84%2526attid%253D0.5%2526disp%253Dinline%2526safe%253D1%2526attbid%253DANGjdJ_WRDPfcRWwUjnLOHMC3z-6yk73YN_LV9wQNRAAVjC9zoFhoUhaA5z8c_9Dzjr61IPX3GZ5Jso1CkN-Fxn44qIWzLzKr-aOHCl7mPXGirNihXZV_4oKHZqjlqw%2526ats%253D1490202617776%2526rm%253D15af6fa0ceff9e84%2526zw%2526sz%253Dw1366-h654%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D404%26h%3D6f2f5493a8ae1bd7d49c9e246c5b21f2ed45fbb91e53af3ab662a69005de0c07%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3228353149%22%7D" expand=1 original_size="1x1"]

When mom and dad got home that night, everything seemed normal, until I saw a tear slip out of moms eye as she said, "Well guys, Chloe didn't make it."

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F03%2F22%2F6362580181402115321607507670_%3Fui%3D2%26ik%3Db26c807018%26view%3Dfimg%26th%3D15af6fa0ceff9e84%26attid%3D0.11%26disp%3Dinline%26safe%3D1%26attbid%3DANGjdJ-xnCjRiVbJiHqt6VtCmJTiMUxJTxoLWbP_3_0Uzic4Qj0roKa4WgnWYSW6H3o1Rd-OdnvBLTAdKYbPvXxEmiBAfT2TO8OxqAQ_DiNKurqdQSCZw18Xi4WNwr4%26ats%3D1490202617777%26rm%3D15af6fa0ceff9e84%26zw%26sz%3Dw1366-h654&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=725&h=acfe5c294be05cec76bd444be1c362e61263af793ff03e76ff8d46dce444c3d3&size=980x&c=2166415814 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F03%252F22%252F6362580181402115321607507670_%253Fui%253D2%2526ik%253Db26c807018%2526view%253Dfimg%2526th%253D15af6fa0ceff9e84%2526attid%253D0.11%2526disp%253Dinline%2526safe%253D1%2526attbid%253DANGjdJ-xnCjRiVbJiHqt6VtCmJTiMUxJTxoLWbP_3_0Uzic4Qj0roKa4WgnWYSW6H3o1Rd-OdnvBLTAdKYbPvXxEmiBAfT2TO8OxqAQ_DiNKurqdQSCZw18Xi4WNwr4%2526ats%253D1490202617777%2526rm%253D15af6fa0ceff9e84%2526zw%2526sz%253Dw1366-h654%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D725%26h%3Dacfe5c294be05cec76bd444be1c362e61263af793ff03e76ff8d46dce444c3d3%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2166415814%22%7D" expand=1 original_size="1x1"]

In that instant, it was like the whole world was falling apart. I sat on the couch with a blank face as I watched everything crumble around me. It was as if the ground was falling and sinking into one big hole around me, and there was nothing that I could do to stop it. Once I had finally gathered myself, I walked outside to see your body one last time.

I walked around the corner of the car, and there you were laying so peacefully. Your tongue still barely stuck out of the front of your mouth because your teeth weren't in the greatest shape, but it didn't matter because you were still as cute as ever. When I saw you laying there, I couldn't stop the tears. I wanted to scream, I wanted to kick something and I wanted to beg for you to come back, but I knew it wouldn't bring you back.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F03%2F22%2F636258017781119975583525705_%3Fui%3D2%26ik%3Db26c807018%26view%3Dfimg%26th%3D15af6fa0ceff9e84%26attid%3D0.7%26disp%3Dinline%26safe%3D1%26attbid%3DANGjdJ9ZblX1slaR4ns28VBZkOPtSjiIDg34LWiJ68kaDg6FXTwXkRevhH2w9wJNmXUnLd-ZbAZLwmCE00ri06IwKJoGPHI6QjMp7An-vptyx6klQIFvFIQ1yO8dsR0%26ats%3D1490202617776%26rm%3D15af6fa0ceff9e84%26zw%26sz%3Dw1366-h654&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=171&h=fc0b24146673c93a61492219e5b8bf8da2b36e7b2032c6d035e95f2cd8358537&size=980x&c=2670551140 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F03%252F22%252F636258017781119975583525705_%253Fui%253D2%2526ik%253Db26c807018%2526view%253Dfimg%2526th%253D15af6fa0ceff9e84%2526attid%253D0.7%2526disp%253Dinline%2526safe%253D1%2526attbid%253DANGjdJ9ZblX1slaR4ns28VBZkOPtSjiIDg34LWiJ68kaDg6FXTwXkRevhH2w9wJNmXUnLd-ZbAZLwmCE00ri06IwKJoGPHI6QjMp7An-vptyx6klQIFvFIQ1yO8dsR0%2526ats%253D1490202617776%2526rm%253D15af6fa0ceff9e84%2526zw%2526sz%253Dw1366-h654%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D171%26h%3Dfc0b24146673c93a61492219e5b8bf8da2b36e7b2032c6d035e95f2cd8358537%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2670551140%22%7D" expand=1 original_size="1x1"]

The thing about all of this was you weren't just our dog and it didn't take long for you to be family. Mom and dad always said they didn't care what the cost would be to keep you alive because you were also one of their kids and you were another one of my siblings. You had so much personality and I miss it everyday. I miss seeing the trash strung out all over the yard from you, I miss hearing you band on the door to come inside, I miss you stealing my bed from me and most of all I miss you chasing me through the snow and sledding with me.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F03%2F22%2F636257994608352754-133666679_%3Fui%3D2%26ik%3Db26c807018%26view%3Dfimg%26th%3D15af6fa0ceff9e84%26attid%3D0.1%26disp%3Dinline%26safe%3D1%26attbid%3DANGjdJ__vKJ6v5Sf1CDfdrle23QTtq6FICianW2vqT7F0EZsSzu4mqG-ggRAU99UcrUAp_QKoXM41eeSvpBfHqZYwyYUye86Ptco6_hTxM8MMmLxSFTFIjba-vi1VMg%26ats%3D1490202617776%26rm%3D15af6fa0ceff9e84%26zw%26sz%3Dw1366-h654&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=275&h=864fde88551062b86c363f065841aef7e98aab8a593c481a237c9c1804e1188d&size=980x&c=3462879906 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F03%252F22%252F636257994608352754-133666679_%253Fui%253D2%2526ik%253Db26c807018%2526view%253Dfimg%2526th%253D15af6fa0ceff9e84%2526attid%253D0.1%2526disp%253Dinline%2526safe%253D1%2526attbid%253DANGjdJ__vKJ6v5Sf1CDfdrle23QTtq6FICianW2vqT7F0EZsSzu4mqG-ggRAU99UcrUAp_QKoXM41eeSvpBfHqZYwyYUye86Ptco6_hTxM8MMmLxSFTFIjba-vi1VMg%2526ats%253D1490202617776%2526rm%253D15af6fa0ceff9e84%2526zw%2526sz%253Dw1366-h654%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D275%26h%3D864fde88551062b86c363f065841aef7e98aab8a593c481a237c9c1804e1188d%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3462879906%22%7D" expand=1 original_size="1x1"]

One of the top-ranked, worst days of my life was when I watched dad set you down into your grave. I remember his exact words that he choked out as he held you one last time,

"You didn't deserve this and you should still be here. We're going to put you right under the fence, where you can run in the field forever. This was your favorite place and it is now where you are going to rest forever."

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F03%2F22%2F636258018535853356730350529_%3Fui%3D2%26ik%3Db26c807018%26view%3Dfimg%26th%3D15af6fa0ceff9e84%26attid%3D0.13%26disp%3Dinline%26safe%3D1%26attbid%3DANGjdJ8kgUN7PfyXQiwB3oyjyjhr0de_yFdM6IyjNzOHSS5rA9mzSrv8_sT47FIcDerniYTWhb2ZwtJkHcwi99vSlO6i5TipfNVu-ca385GpPc0DI3jvpWs2DUwaZ78%26ats%3D1490202617777%26rm%3D15af6fa0ceff9e84%26zw%26sz%3Dw1366-h654&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=530&h=4c56c53f0ce88d09280ffc6e4ebd2c166c25f1f62d20948cd08a72bcc44ec277&size=980x&c=1461036631 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F03%252F22%252F636258018535853356730350529_%253Fui%253D2%2526ik%253Db26c807018%2526view%253Dfimg%2526th%253D15af6fa0ceff9e84%2526attid%253D0.13%2526disp%253Dinline%2526safe%253D1%2526attbid%253DANGjdJ8kgUN7PfyXQiwB3oyjyjhr0de_yFdM6IyjNzOHSS5rA9mzSrv8_sT47FIcDerniYTWhb2ZwtJkHcwi99vSlO6i5TipfNVu-ca385GpPc0DI3jvpWs2DUwaZ78%2526ats%253D1490202617777%2526rm%253D15af6fa0ceff9e84%2526zw%2526sz%253Dw1366-h654%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D530%26h%3D4c56c53f0ce88d09280ffc6e4ebd2c166c25f1f62d20948cd08a72bcc44ec277%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1461036631%22%7D" expand=1 original_size="1x1"]

You weren't just a dog, you were my family and I miss you terribly everyday. Our home isn't the same without your banging on the door, or your protectiveness over everyone. You were the fourth child of the family and you will forever be missed. No one will ever be able to take your place or fill the void in our home ever since you left; ten years was not enough amount of time with you. I hope you rest in peace pretty girl and I love you more than ever.

Sincerely,

Your sledding partner.