This is the first half of a play written by my friend, Leandra Silsby, and me for our Intro to Theatre class. We started with the idea of one of our greatest fears, and a fear we felt most millennials could relate to was the fear of aging. This play focuses on some of our ideas on that topic. Without further ado, please enjoy the first half of Age of Old.

CHARACTERS

BOY: dressed in PJs and a red cape

MAN: late 20’s, dressed in sweater and khakis, glasses

GRAMPS: uses a cane, gray hair, hunchback, wrinkles, dressed in several layers; undershirt, button-up, jacket, slacks, worn clothes

SETTING: A hospital waiting area. Three chairs sit in the middle of the stage with a fern stage right of them. A small table is immediately stage left of the chairs; tissues and brochures are on top of it. GRAMPS sits in the middle seat. Light changes occur for the BOY scenes so as to reflect the events happening in another location.

(BOY runs on from stage right making whooshing sounds and holding his cape behind him. He’s a superhero!)

BOY: You can’t escape from me, evil-doers! (dodges imaginary bullets and punches)

BOY: Your weapons can’t hurt me! I’m invincible! (whooshes around the stage; looks off stage right)

BOY: Mommy! Watch me! I’m going to catch the bad guys. (in as deep and manly of a voice as he can) Watch out, you crook! I won’t rest until I capture all of you. You can’t escape me with my super-duper heat vision! Zhoom! Zhoom! (whooshes around stage)

BOY: Come on, mom!

(BOY grabs the wrist of his invisible mother and whooshes off stage, dragging her behind. GRAMPS leans on his cane slightly. Beat. MAN enters stage right. MAN paces about for a bit, catching GRAMPS attention, then MAN sits in the seat to the right of GRAMPS.)

GRAMPS: What’s the matter there, boy?

MAN: Excuse me?

GRAMPS: Something seems to be troubling you. I’m here to talk if you’d like.

MAN: I’m good. Thanks.

GRAMPS: Alrighty then.

(Beat. MAN shakes his leg, clearly growing more and more restless.)

MAN: I’m just waiting for a friend.

GRAMPS: Is she in here?

MAN: She’s actually a he and yes. He’s supposed to be released today.

GRAMPS: What was he in for, boy? If you don’t mind me asking?

MAN: I do mind, actually.

GRAMPS: No worries. Message received.

(Again, MAN grows restless in his seat, shifting his weight around.)

MAN: A concussion. He plays rugby, the idiot. (laughs; sighs) Craig. He’s fine, just needed to stay for a few days.

GRAMPS: I used to play rugby. Ended up giving me this cane a bit earlier than I would have liked, though.

(MAN laughs uncomfortably. GRAMPS laughs throwing him into a coughing fit.)

MAN: Ick… (stands up and moves a bit further from GRAMPS)

GRAMPS: Don’t go condemning me, boy. You’ll end up like this someday.

MAN: I will never be like you. And stop calling me “boy.”

GRAMPS: We all gotta grow old someday, son. (MAN is clearly agitated by this word as well but stifles his anger) No say in the matter.

(Beat.)

MAN: I choose not to.

GRAMPS: Not to what?

MAN: Grow old. I’m not going to.

GRAMPS: I don’t believe that’s a choice you can make, boy.

MAN: We all have choices. And, please, stop calling me that.

GRAMPS: I don’t quite understand what you’re getting at there.

MAN: What does it matter? It’s not like you’re going to be around much longer to remember anything I tell you.

GRAMPS: (with authority) Now you listen here. You have no right to talk about me like that. Not me. Not anyone else. I don’t know what I said to deserve this treatment, and I don’t know who you think you are, but you will treat me with respect. So, either you tell me what you’re going on about, or apologize.

MAN: Sorry. I just… have this thing with... old people.

GRAMPS: A thing?

MAN: You know. A thing. (beat) We just don’t typically get along.

GRAMPS: We meaning you and… old people? You don’t get along with old people? All old people?

MAN: Yeah. Sorry, it’s nothing personal, I just don’t. And not to marginalize the elderly, but I just don’t feel comfortable around them.

GRAMPS: There’s no avoiding marginalizing us with that thought. So, what is it you have against us, boy?

MAN: See. Right there. You’re all so stuck in your ways. You refuse to stop calling me boy, despite me asking you to stop.

GRAMPS: It’s just a habit. Habits are hard to break.

MAN: But it’s not “just a habit;” it might start that way, but you get so caught up in all of your “habits.” You lose your willingness to grow and adapt. (mockingly) “Times are a-changin’.” And you don’t change with them.

GRAMPS: And you said you didn’t want to marginalize the elderly?

MAN: Regardless, I’m right.

GRAMPS: Well, you are quite versed in how we work, aren’t you?

MAN: I know what I’m saying. I’ve done a lot of thinking.

GRAMPS: Fair enough. Thinking is good. But I’ve had a good life, and it will continue to be good. The way I live it, although repetitive, (chuckles) it’s been good.

MA: You call that a good life? A monotonous routine? Going on and on and on and on. Waiting... waiting. Just waiting to die. I don’t see any purpose in that. It would be hell with that sort of life.

(BOY runs on from stage left.)

BOY: Up to your old tricks again? (coughs) Come back here, criminal!

(BOY punches and kicks the air. He does cartwheels and several acrobatic, gymnastic tricks, shrieking with joy and giggling all the way. He stops suddenly, rubbing his stomach.)

BOY: (whining) Mom! I’m hungry! When’s dinner? Mom? (sprints off stage right.)

GRAMPS: That’s quite a pessimistic view.

MAN: Well, that’s how I see things.

GRAMPS: How does that change the fact that you will inevitably grow old?

MAN: For those reasons, I have decided to set my timeline.

GRAMPS: You what now?

MAN: I will not live past the age of 30.

GRAMPS: Are you sick?

MAN: No.

GRAMPS: Do you still have a family?

MAN: Yes.

GRAMPS: So you’re just taking your own life?

END OF PART 1

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for Part 2 next week.