To we millennials, from ages 18 to 25, "adulting" is term we use fairly regularly. We bought groceries? Adulting. We finished a whole day of work? We’re done with adulting for the day. We paid our bills? We adulted. According to Urban Dictionary, "adulting" is defined as: "to do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as, a nine-to-five job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grownups."

But my question is, when does adulting turn into being a real adult?

Based on that definition, which is the best we will get, adulting is doing adult-like things. That’s pretty straightforward. To me, though, adulting seems like a way to get around the fact that you are close to being an adult. It’s a word to describe the middle ground between a child and an adult because we don’t seem to want to admit that we are adults. We want to do some adult things, and be treated with the respect of adults, but we also want to be able to act like we did in high school. But, here’s the thing: you can be an adult and still have fun. You don’t need to post on social media that you “adulted today” because that’s what you are supposed to be doing with your life at this point. It’s no shock to anyone that you bought groceries, went to work, or bought your own car -- those things are a part of growing up. I understand that the things we are doing are new to us. We may have never worked before, or paid bills, or bought our own groceries, so go ahead and tell the world all about those things and be proud of yourself! I just don’t think we need a word to describe that feeling of growing up. (But even though I may think that way, it is a fun word and I’m guilty of having used it so maybe I’m being hypocritical.)

With all of that said, becoming an adult is an odd feeling, and I have no doubt in my mind that is the reason the word was created. It is hard to decide where you are at in life when you do some adult things but don’t feel like a complete adult yet. I think many of us look at our own lives and wonder, “am I an adult now?”

Recently I’ve had many different thoughts about growing up; many different realizations and questions have spun around in my head. I went to the movies with my boyfriend the other day and looked at some teenagers only a few years younger than us that had walked in, and I thought, “I remember being them, and seeing people our age (20+) and thinking I couldn’t wait to be an adult, but now I am and it doesn’t feel as different as I imagined it would. But at the same time, it feels extremely different.” I no longer live at home, my life finally feels like it’s falling into place, I take care of myself, but sometimes I need my parents like I did in high school. I realized then how in between I am at this point in my life, but that I really am growing up. Two days later I was with my best friend, skinny dipping in her pool in the backyard with wine coolers in our hands, and as I looked up at the stars I was suddenly nostalgic for when we did these types of things in high school. At that point in our lives, it felt so much riskier, the thrill had seemed to vanish and I blamed becoming an adult for that.

There are some feelings that I miss from being a teenager in high school, but I definitely don’t miss it all. Maybe instead of using the word "adulted" when we do things we should be doing, we can use the word in a different way. You went out to a party and had a good time? You didn’t adult today and it felt good. You forgot to do your laundry? Oops, adulting gone wrong. You had to borrow 20 bucks from someone? Adulting is kicking your ass. To me, we use adulting because we don’t want to leave the past behind, but we don’t have to.

I don’t think any adult, no matter their age, has it all figured out. I know when I was 14 and looked at a 20-year-old, I would think that they must be so content in life and have everything planned out and have no worries, but that is not the case. I may have a decent plan, and I am happy most of the time, but I still have plenty of worries. Being adult is nothing like we imagined it would be when we were younger. So with that said, we will and can mess up while doing our best to be an adult, but we don’t need to treat growing up like a chore, and that’s what it seems like many of us are doing today.