The word adopt is defined as choosing or taking someone as one's own. By adopting a child, the parents now take on the role of raising the child and caring for the child. However, there is so much more than just taking the child in. Adoption is giving the child a second chance at, hopefully, a better life. As a child of adoption myself, I now understand how truly blessed I am to have been adopted by my parents.
In 1978, China implemented the one-child policy, meaning that families could only have one child to reduce population growth. Societal customs caused men to be desired over women because, traditionally, men would take care of their elderly parents. The women, on the other hand, would go and take care of their husband's family instead. Therefore, parents would want a son so that they could have someone to take care of them in their old age. Unfortunately, with this cultural mindset, female babies were then abandoned: some in public areas such as police stations and elementary schools and others in horrific conditions such as dumps and ditches. Regardless, many female infants were undesired by their own families. Some of these female babies were found and then placed in an orphanage, which is exactly what happened to me. For a small period of time, these children are cared for by the orphanage. Meanwhile, adoption agencies in the U.S. are working with these orphanages so that these abandoned children are adopted. This means that these children are given a second chance and hopefully a new home with adopted parents.
As a young child, I would question my parents as to why I did not look like them, to which they would respond that I had my dad's black hair color and the straightness of my mother's hair. Being a child, I suppose that was enough for me, but my parents never wanted me to feel any different because we did not look the same. They also did not try to hide the fact that I was adopted. It was something I had accepted, but I never truly knew what that meant. As I grew older, I began to ask questions regarding my birth mother and the life I could have had in China, had I remained there. Why did she not want me? Why did it matter that I was a girl as opposed to a boy? What would my life have been had I been raised by Chinese parents? Questions such as these ran through my head a lot, and I asked my mom, "Why?" She responded, "I don't know why, honey." This wasn't the response I was hoping for. It sometimes would bother me; however, after I was adopted, all ties were severed with the orphanage. We were not supposed to contact them, nor were they supposed to contact us -- some weird policy with the Chinese government. I was placed in a new life with no chance of ever going back to the life I could have had. Still, this did not stop my curiosity. I thought about what I would ask my birth mother if I could ever meet her somehow. However, over time, I began to realize that it did not matter what life I could have had or why I was abandoned. I was surrounded by a loving family and given a second chance to have a better future.
Now that I am older, I realize that being adopted by my parents was the best thing that could have happened to me. I know that they truly love me because they wanted me and took the time to go to China to adopt me. Regardless of what my life could have been, had I remained in China, I know that I have been given the chance to make a difference here. I still wonder what it would be like to meet my birth mother and what I would say to her, but I understand that I was brought to America for a reason. The exact reason, I do not know, but I am going to make the most of the time I have to make a difference. Whether that be to change the lives of others in the process of adoption or assist people in need of new medicine, I want to help and impact as many people as possible. Adoption is more than just a legal agreement stating that this child has new parents. Adoption is a second chance for the child to make a difference in their new life: that is exactly what I want to do.
