11 Things I Want On My 21st Birthday Instead Of A Free Drink

11 Things I Want On My 21st Birthday Instead Of A Free Drink

I'm not talking about alcohol
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There is this very strong idea that your 21st birthday has to be one to remember, even though you were too drunk to do so. They expect you to go nuts and drink until you are blue, figuratively and literally. I hear people constantly telling of their great 21st birthday endeavors, but they never seemed to appeal to me. I think that there is more to celebrate being 21 other than the ability to drink in public.

There are so many possibilities at this age. You can be spontaneous and unapologetically happy. You can set the world on fire. You can take no prisoners. I think being 21 should embody more than alcohol and party. I mean let's be honest, college has left none of us naive. I don't think there is a magical difference in the taste or effects of liquor from the day before your 21st or the day after.

I am not saying that I won't indulge or have fun, so to speak. I will, in fact, have so much fun - with or without alcohol. I want to remember my 21st and look back at all the friendships I made and the great quality of life I had before it is just a distant memory.

So, for my 21st birthday I want:

1. Peace.

When I blow out the candles this year, the greatest thing I can wish for is peace. Whether it's peace in my own mind, personal life, or worldwide. There is so much confusion and hostility in the world right now, that I think peace is a great birthday wish. From a personal point of view, I wish for peace in my situations and peace in my heart.

2. Maturity.

One thing I have learned about being in college is that I know absolutely nothing. I have always been told that I am mature beyond my years and a "grown-up kid", but with more and the more things I experience, the more I learn about myself. I wish for maturity this year because I am not just a young 21 year old, I am also a fricken grown up now.

3. A puppy.

A puppy will definitely be on my wish list.

4. Men to act like men.

Please, for the love of Oreos and milk, can "men" start acting like actual men. It is so sad, actually, that most boys in college are not actually men. They act like children and want to treat girls like they are big men. They don't take no for an answer and they "get what they want."

They take advantage of girls, not just sexually, but in a sense where they make you feel bad for not giving them answers to their homework. This is not a generalization about all "men," but for my birthday I wish that they can act more like real men.

5. Money.

Cha-Ching baby! No, but seriously I really want some cold hard cash for my birthday. Money might not buy happiness, but it sure does take away the extra stress of rent, utilities, gas, and my Chinese takeout fund.

6. Candles.

If I had to describe myself as an object, it would be a candle. It is glowing and warm, but don't get too close because I'll burn you. A candle is a hug in a jar; home in a container; and a story of a lifetime burned over and over. Plus I am a personal fan of pumpkin smells and it's that time of year.

7. A pantsuit.

There is nothing more empowering than walking into a room of men dressed in a pantsuit and heels with a glow that you're going to show them. A true mark of womanhood in my mind. Feminine and fierce.

8. Courage.

I actually ask for this every year. Every month. Every week. Every morning. This year at age 21 it is crucial that I be courageous. I am coming into my shoes, and I need to be humble and hard working. As I kill my twenties, I am hopeful that I will be able to find my passions and work for them. Courage to me is also the ability to fall over and over but stand every time with the hope of standing. Bring on 21.

9. Relationships that matter.

I'm not talking about romantic (although I wouldn't oppose) relationships. I do not have time to waste on people who aren't there for me, and I also don't want to waste time on people I don't care for. This is not being mean, but rather being honest in the sense of knowing what I want. I am so grateful for the friends I have now and those who lift me up. For my birthday, I want to spend my time with those I love and forget those who I do not deserve my love.

10. Something homemade.

Surprisingly, I am not a huge fan of the idea of gift buying. I do, however, like gift giving. Yes, they are different. There is something so special and bonding about hearing someone say, "I saw this and thought of you". I would much rather receive a gift made from the heart that is personal and thoughtful than a gift card to Panera Bread.

11. Hugs.

Okay, okay. I am NOT a hugger, but that is something I plan to work on this year. There is something so powerful about wrapping your arms around another person ( wow this doesn't sound creepy). A hug is a single gesture that means way more than words. I will do my best to spread my unspoken love to others. So please, if you see me, give me a hug.


If you literally can't think of anything else to get me of my birthday, I would not be opposed to a glass, lime, and salt - the rest can be implied.


Cover Image Credit: Etsy

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I'm The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

You raise your protest picket signs and I’ll raise my white picket fence.
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Social Media feeds are constantly filled with quotes on women's rights, protests with mobs of women, and an array of cleverly worded picket signs.

Good for them, standing up for their beliefs and opinions. Will I be joining my tight-knit family of the same gender?

Nope, no thank you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be oblivious to my history and the advancements that women have fought to achieve. I am aware that the strides made by many women before me have provided us with voting rights, a voice, equality, and equal pay in the workforce.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Who Would Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

For that, I am deeply thankful. But at this day in age, I know more female managers in the workforce than male. I know more women in business than men. I know more female students in STEM programs than male students. So what’s with all the hype? We are girl bosses, we can run the world, we don’t need to fight the system anymore.

Please stop.

Because it is insulting to the rest of us girls who are okay with being homemakers, wives, or stay-at-home moms. It's dividing our sisterhood, and it needs to stop.

All these protests and strong statements make us feel like now we HAVE to obtain a power position in our career. It's our rightful duty to our sisters. And if we do not, we are a disappointment to the gender and it makes us look weak.

Weak to the point where I feel ashamed to say to a friend “I want to be a stay at home mom someday.” Then have them look at me like I must have been brain-washed by a man because that can be the only explanation. I'm tired of feeling belittled for being a traditionalist.

Why?

Because why should I feel bad for wanting to create a comfortable home for my future family, cooking for my husband, being a soccer mom, keeping my house tidy? Because honestly, I cannot wait.

I will have no problem taking my future husband’s last name, and following his lead.

The Bible appoints men to be the head of a family, and for wives to submit to their husbands. (This can be interpreted in so many ways, so don't get your panties in a bunch at the word “submit”). God specifically made women to be gentle and caring, and we should not be afraid to embrace that. God created men to be leaders with the strength to carry the weight of a family.

However, in no way does this mean that the roles cannot be flipped. If you want to take on the responsibility, by all means, you go girl. But for me personally? I'm sensitive, I cry during horror movies, I'm afraid of basements and dark rooms. I, in no way, am strong enough to take on the tasks that men have been appointed to. And I'm okay with that.

So please, let me look forward to baking cookies for bake sales and driving a mom car.

And I'll support you in your endeavors and climb to the top of the corporate ladder. It doesn't matter what side you are on as long as we support each other, because we all need some girl power.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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Dear America, We Can Step Forward As A Country If We Stop Believing That Only One Belief Is Valid

It's time to promote unity and emphasize our commonalities because only through unity can we step forward as a country.

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Dear America,

2018 was a year of political strife and conflict. The left and the right fought constantly. Republicans and Democrats blamed each other for the tiniest mistakes, and there were only a small number of successful bipartisan deals. Politicians and citizens alike seemed more concerned with sticking to party platforms, even ones they truly didn't believe in, rather than compromising with the other side to improve our society.Yet all this name-calling and hatred — what does it do in the end? What does it accomplish?

We've only seen an increased polarization of American politics and an expanded hostility towards "the other side." We don't consider the well-being of each and every person in America and the bettering of our society, or the building of a stronger world for our children and grandchildren.

We spend so much time insulting each other's political beliefs that we forget probably the most important fact that links us all together: We are all human. We all share the same basic needs, the same struggles, the same moments of happiness and sadness.

And yet we are willing to put our similarities aside and only focus on our differences. We are willing to thrust ourselves into the deep anger and loathing that comes in attacking those different from us. We are willing to parry insults behind the safety of a phone screen and forget all about what makes us alike. And we are willing to gloss over the fact that we have more similarities than differences.

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Yes, political beliefs make a person. Political beliefs define the values, ideas and thoughts of a person. But sometimes, we have to reach over those beliefs, as hard as that may be, and focus on the bigger picture at hand. What will insulting someone because of those beliefs do? It definitely won't change their views or make them see things from your point of view.

It's sad and frustrating that this endless fighting doesn't even occur between two countries or two governments or two nation-states. Instead, we see arguments and strife between two family members, two neighbors or even two strangers, all living in the same community and under the same government, all sharing more similarities than differences.

We need to stop focusing so much on singular ideas. We need to stop believing in the close-minded idea that only one thought is the best thought. And instead of wasting energy trying to change other's opinions, we need to use that energy and time to promote unity and emphasize our commonalities.

These past few years have truly divided America. Let's make 2019 a year of unity, because only through unity can we step forward as a country.

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