To my person...

Let's start by saying how much I miss you. Every single part of you. Down to my bones, my body aches because I miss you so. I miss your infectious laugh and your witty sense of humor. I miss your kind and gentle heart that made everyone feel welcome. I miss all of the attention on you when you told stories and laughed so hard you couldn't get words out. The way you only had one dimple when you smiled. I miss walking into the room and seeing you cuddled up after a long day at work. Or seeing you sit at the kitchen table deep in thought. I miss the petty fights we would get into over plans for the weekend or because you left something out that the dogs would destroy. Often times, you'll hear people tell you to, "appreciate the little things, because they become the big things." I wish I realized that when you were still here.

Rooms are noticeably empty when you are not in them and it is excruciating not only to feel your absence, but also to know it will never be filled the same way.

I owe it to you to thank you. Thank you for everything you've taught me and given me during our time together. Because of you I am a better person. You taught me how to be kind, thoughtful, and compassionate, but most of all you taught me how to love. You taught me that despite my past I still had a chance. You came into my life when I questioned what love was. I had given up on such an idea after so many failed relationships with friends and family members. You were able to get me to open up unlike anyone before, too tell you the things I had bottled up for years without fear of rejection. You were my biggest cheerleader.

You also taught me to work meticulously. You taught me to work until your bones ache because you pushed yourself so hard. For that, I can not thank you enough. I thank you for your understanding when I was down and for standing by me in my dark times. For being the light when I was stuck in the darkness. Thank you for the times you called out of work just so you could lay next to me when I wasn't feeling great, thank you for knowing that even if I say I'm okay I might not be. Thank you for having the most comforting and warm embrace. Thank you for being you

It's hard to think about how many milestones we have already been through and are going to be celebrating without you. Birthdays, holidays, college acceptance letters and graduations from High School are just a few. I still find myself picking up the phone to call you when something important or even something silly happens. You're the first person I want to tell everything to—everything.

Time really does fly, and I wish you were here to see it all. I wish I could've hugged you after I got accepted into UVA and I wish you could see graduate. Everything good that happens becomes bittersweet knowing you aren't here to celebrate with. You are the one who pushed me to do all these things, to apply to schools I could only dream of being accepted into. To take a huge step out of my comfort zone and apply for internships despite my gpa. I miss being able to have you next to me during the trials that life throws my way and I miss being able to celebrate the small things with you.

There really is so much I want to tell you and so much I want to ask you. Whether it's an exciting call about a job or an internship or to vent about people who hurt me, you were always the first one to know. I bet some people even felt out of the loop when they were around us because we could reach each other with ease. Most of the time, I didn't even have to specify what I was feeling for you to understand it. We knew each other that well. I want to tell you when my heart aches and when I feel on top of the moon. I want to ask you for advice and tell you what is consuming my thoughts. It's crazy that I can't just give you a call just to see what's going on in your life and to fill you in on mine. The way I long to talk to you just once more compares to nothing else. You are the first person on my mind when I wake up and more often than not the last one on my mind before I fall asleep.

Even though missing you sucks, I can't help but to love looking at pictures of you. It hurts knowing I will no longer be able to capture new ones of you but being able to see your face, especially your big smile give me a few seconds when it feels like you're here. I can imagine you down to the very details of your palm. The sound of your voice and your happy laugh are forever engraved into my mind, and no distance, including heaven to Earth can take that away. I can remember the way it felt to hug you - the greatest feeling in the entire world.

I hope you know how much of an impact you had on so many people's lives, including mine. The void you left can probably never be filled, but it puts me at peace to know you are at peace.