I don't know where I am now. I don't know where I've been. But I know where I want to be. I want to be happy and appreciate all of what you throw at me. I want to be one step ahead. I have only lived seventeen year of my life and I intended to live to experience so much more. I am still young, vulnerable, and ignorant. I want to be admired and loved by those I find close. I don't want the feeling of dependence on others. I want to be my own person, unafraid of what is to come. I want to shut out sinister thoughts from my mind, to be in control. I want to be unafraid to speak my mind, stand out. My own complete person is only yet to come and I am understanding every piece to this through each experience. Your path is winding and twisting for me. I have learned this, and I have only lived a short while. Please teach me so much more.

Now I beg, do not get the impression I am unappreciative of my experiences I have had so far in my time. As the clock ticks away, I have met beautiful people, I have seen breathtaking places, and I have loved so much of what is around me. All of these emotions and events are just pieces of the process to help me grow as a person. Without my friends, I would not have learned of relationships. Some have stayed, some have gone. My best friend, my sister, had left me. She took a new path, and as I traveled mine I began to wander. I was confused and alone. Being stuck in this dark path, cold, a light found me. This one light became a group of lights, unfamiliar to me. They picked my up and brushed me off. They put a smile on my face and continue to do this to me to this day. The people at the end of these lights are my heart, guiding me while I was in the deep darkness. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

As people fade in and out, I become stronger. I have learned to loosen my grip on a person, because I know if I don't, my fingers will break. I will be hurt, and I will go back to being powerless. The steps you put me through to become the independent version of me. My being, my life, why must you make this point so difficult? I have a strong heart and become attached so easily; why must you beat me down? I toss and turn back and forth confused on whether to accept this. Why must you play these games with those I keep close?

I can run away from my loneliness and find bliss. Without this game you play with me with my relationship, I would have never been able to find the beauty in the inanimate figures around me. The sun, the wind, the rain are factors of what makes you beautiful. Without the air the world bears around me, I can not relieve myself from the confusion. Deep breaths for my shallow lungs give me a peace of mind. The sun holds me in its arms. Its warmth covers every inch of my body, giving me the sense of security. At last the rain in you, my life, clears my mind. As each drop hits the pavement, it creates a song that lets me lose myself. I take in the melody of the drops and let myself travel away from the evil corner of my mind. But life, why can't you let me find this peace in all times? Evil thoughts resurface as the rain moves away, or the air becomes still, or nightfall arrives. Why is peace and absolute happiness only a temporary event?

Each person is created as their own. An infant does not judge or critique. However, we are being built each day to become a copy. We are unable to fight this and keep it from happening. Each person is pieced together exactly to how society wants us built. We are told to become our original copy, yet are fed a double dose of the pills of how others want us to be. I am drawing myself, attempting to refuse the medication. I have become sick, hearing words of judgement and hatred. If I take my pills I know these words will become silent, the sickness will leave me. I can't lie to you, life, you know who I am. I keep this medication as a saving grace, because one can only convey so much until they are unable to move. You have formed us into addicts. Why do you play with our mind like this? Should we blend or should we stand out?

So my dear life, please take care of me on your wild adventure you have challenged me with. I progressively put together your puzzle, each placement giving me a new picture. I have asked you so many questions already, and yet I have so many more, and so many to come. Life, be my light. Be my rain. Be myself. Help me move time along, preparing myself for your end.